Category Archives: SPIRITUAL INTEREST

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Stuck or in Denial? Deal with It.

The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails–given by one Shepherd.   Ecclesiastes 12:11. NIV

We’ve all had experiences that were traumatic. Some of these have altered our lives in significant ways. Our response to the trauma is significant. We will go through a host of different emotions as we deal with it as best we can. Sometimes we may even find ourselves side-lined for a few days, months or even years as we seek to cope with our issue. It takes time, and lots of it.

I have a friend who chooses to never look back. The bad happens and he keeps on going. I happen to be on the opposite side. The bad happens and I get stuck in it. Both are ways of coping with pain but neither is life-giving to our souls. To nurture health in ourselves and in our souls we must find a way to sort through the present reality and also our troubles from our past reality. Why? That we might learn and also become aware of that which builds up and that which destroys, what is true and what is not, and so we won’t make the same mistake twice or make a wrong conclusion about something or someone and our part in it.

For example, as a divorcee’ I am more aware of the pattern of other divorced people. Some, straight out of the failed relationship, are excited about their new-found freedom. With great enthusiasm, they jump right into the dating scene and all that. For them, it is like reverting to the high school or college scene, looking good, the charm and excitement of being attractive again or finding the other person as attractive, The divorced person has a need. They are going to fill this emptiness by being close to the action. The buzz and romance is sweet to the the starved-for-affection person. But it is a danger zone. Recognition of the person’s need for healthy relationship is not being addressed and the reason behind the failed relationship is being ignored.

Wisdom is not found there. We must look at the past, the ruined relationship, failed business deal, church trouble, wrong endeavor, or failure to thrive in a specific area, and list it out. What worked and what didn’t work, our part in it and their part in it, who or what is good for me or what should I avoid if I want a healthy long-term relationship? It can be a danger zone when a person is so hungry for love or acceptance, success and pats on the back, that they seek validation and emotional support without being wise and without gains in their spiritual maturity.

Wisdom is concrete. It speaks and is anchored like firmly embedded nails. In God’s words, we find what is wise and that which is life-giving, words of wisdom given by one Shepherd. Keeping our mind centered on His will and truth is essential when we are in a crisis. Recording truth according to the Word of God is critical to understanding. When we look to God, with paper in hand, we can proceed to identify what we “need to know.” By avoiding the truth will keep us from learning and eventually causes starvation in our spiritual life. We often pity those whom never move forward, and we all know them. People get stuck in an open wound caused by a loss which overwhelms their present and inhibits their future. We, too, suffer from this condition more than we realize. It need not be this way.

Yesterday I spent a couple of hours at Billie Park in Paradise, California. I was there to mark some time while waiting for my daughter. I walked, prayed, and visited with others. I took my notebook to a shaded area near a stream and sat on a bench. I found myself listening to the bubbling creek and cheerful birds’ songs. I entered the topic at the top of the notepad page. Next I labeled the sheet into two columns “+” and “-″.  I was ready to dive in and document what I feel went wrong or right from an outward, non-emotional perspective. It was about a past church crisis that has affected me and others in my faith community.  Me, like others, have been confused as to how to view what happened and then how to make sense of it. I prayed the following words before writing the list:

Speak to my heart, dear God. Show me what goes on this list. Help me to see it more clearly. What would you like to tell me today?

The plus and minus columns began filling up. I wrote what I already knew to be true. Then more statements were added to each side of the list as God helped me understand what I could not readily see in my human, limited knowledge. I continued to sort my thoughts for a substantial period of time. I did not rush it, and I was praying to God or praising Him much of the time. It was a beneficial, spiritual, and practical exercise in helping me understand with discernment and clarity some of the problems and issues, and also the way choices have impacted the present.

Looking to God, taking His known Truth by centering oneself in the presence of God, is of great merit and benefit. Human wisdom is short-sighted, but godly wisdom is enlightening. During this session, another church experience came to my mind, one that has caused me emotional pain. I considered it as well, and its residual impact on my ability and/or inability to function well in my church family. This, too,  gave me new insights and clarity of thought. Positive benefits came from this spiritual exercise of introspective and constructive learning infused with the Holy Spirit’s directing.

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Complaining, a Troubling Condition

“But godliness with contentment is great gain.” 1 Timothy 6:6

Christian people like to complain; have you noticed this? They grumble about this and are unhappy about that, they complain about what they wish was different or how it should be done in another or better way. When things are not going well, they are quick to ask for prayers. But when the prayers are answered, they might still have a touch of the dissatisfaction in their comments, how it’s not quite what they wanted.

“Be content in all things.” Not optional. Being content is expected of us.

Such a common verse.  One we disregard so easily. We excuse our complaining. Or we don’t recognize it for what it is. Contentment is related to a state of being in our spiritual sensitivities and our inward spiritual liveliness. Discontent or the tedious complaint, voiced often and repetitively, is telling on you. It is telling the rest of us exactly the state of your spiritual side or my spiritual side. Oh my!

Usually we don’t even realize it for what it is. If you take this to its logical conclusion, a complaint about our life and circumstances is a complaint against God and His provision. It’s like we’re having a little hissy-fit that we feel is deserved. We have to let the world know why we’re so unhappy or disappointed or mistreated. We may even vent about the people in the ministry that we’re working with at church. Oh my goodness.We don’t even realize what we are doing or saying.

I believe it should not be this way.

Recently I was given the opportunity to speak at my church. For months I had been gathering information around the topic “Peace at the Center” by preparing material for a future speaking engagement whenever. But that wasn’t what God had in mind. I abandoned my notes and prepared in another direction.

I decided to speak about this subject that we Americans have excused or ignored and have paid very little attention to; the topic of “being content” or the ability to be content day in and day out. Nope, we don’t do contentment very easily or often enough.

I suppose we all want to be content. We know we should be that way. God says so, right? But it is hard to be that way. So much vies for our attention and our dollars. Materialism has us in its grip whether we are firmly enmeshed or just so-so partakers of the consumerism mentality. But that is only one aspect that displays our lack of contentment.

Pride of life is another, and it is a real thing. It’s not only in our culture and social values, it is even in third world countries. A member of my family spent some time in Papau, New Guinea. He was surprised to see the status hierarchy even in a primitive society. But it was there, the awareness and discontent with who has more than the other person.

When we look at it closely, we can see that the problem with being discontent (and complaining) and our not being able to be content (and satisfied) is found in our level of contentment versus discontentment measured by the grid through which we evaluate our lives. These may be in relationship to achievements, possessions, relationships, status and so forth. It is a rating system with which we evaluate others in comparison to us.  Can we say that we are satisfied with what we have and how we live? Often our eyes are on our wishes. It is like an endless treadmill, running in place like the hamster on his exercise wheel. Going fast but not getting near where we want to go.

Discontentment makes us unhappy. It makes us anxious. And it makes us feel dissatisfied. Christians are given verse after verse that highlight the need for contentment. There must be a reason that God tells us to be content throughout His word. The natural state of a human’s outlook is discontent. It is rare to be content or to desire contentment. We find ourselves discontent with jobs, people, finances, homes. . .well, just about everything when you get stuck on an irritation and think about it long enough.

It doesn’t have to be this way. The dial can be moved in another direction.

Contentment can be pursued. Awareness of the issue is the starting point. Once we realize that we are in disobedience by choosing to be discontent, then we become aware that an attitude of discontent must be abandoned. This is not easy because complaining is a habit for many of us. It will not remove itself from our thinking or saying on its own accord. It is a process.

God tells us to be “content in all things.” There are ways to do this. We must draw close to God and ask for His help. Then we define the issues. It helps to place our areas of contentment and discontentment into two categories so that we may recognize their presence in our thinking patterns, pursuits and desires. We must split our thoughts into two groups.

In group one–to the positive, we must define that which helps us to be content. In group two–to the negative, we must define that which feeds into areas of discontent.

“Godliness with contentment is great gain” is an interesting statement. At first blush, it would seem that there shouldn’t be a need to mention contentment, that godliness is enough. The emphasis, with contentment, helps us to become more aware of the need for contentment as part of godly living.

Contentment has a lot to do with attitude and some to do with awareness. It helps to facilitate an awareness of our heart’s condition for out of the heart comes all manner of things. We are responsible for our spiritual health.

It is like when we grow a garden. If we want our garden to produce well, then we will need good seed, good soil, good weed and insect control, good mineral composition, adequate sunlight, and adequate transpiration and irrigation. If we have too much or too little of any of these elements, then our crop will be weaker, less productive, and produce a poorer quality of product.

It is the same way in our spiritual lives. We must become healthy in our body, soul, and spirit. What comes out of our mouths, what is shown in the expressions on our faces and the way in which we react to circumstances, is the product of the inward self. It reveals the truth about our soul’s strength or weaknesses.

Contentment is related to inner spiritual components. We must “weed control” the areas that cause us to stumble and to become discontent. We must “fertilize and irrigate” the areas that will encourage our self-life to grow and to become content. It is a time intensive process. One that is well worth the effort, I might add.

I stumbled on a verse a few years ago that knocked this concept, being content in all circumstances, out of the ballpark. I will share that story in my next blog on contentment.

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Part 2 – Find a Better Way. What Every Christian Needs to Read.