Category Archives: Christian Life

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Alive in God

I was alive, more ALIVE than ever before.

Unexpected fullness of joy welled up in me. My heart was bursting with happiness, joy, and love. I was charged with kinetic energy on full blast at top speed enclosed in the confines of my body. I had never experienced such lightness and blessedness. Facing me was a gym full of people singing praises to God, but I was in my own world, knowing God’s indwelling combined with a great awareness of His presence. Self-consciousness made me wonder if people could tell that something was going on. Was I making a spectacle of myself?

Earlier in the service, sorrow was heavy upon me as I sang with the music team. I was in the middle of a rough patch, which had caused an ever-increasing gut-wrenching reliance on God–nothing new, really, but something that required my full attention. Being sued for primary custody of my then twelve year old daughter had ripped my family in two. She was being taken from me in the flower of her blossoming womanhood.

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Fears for her future and the disruption of our relationship were foremost in my thoughts. I knew my daughter had distanced from me emotionally. Her words were accusing and angry as she questioned my love, spirituality, and integrity. Those were being doubted as I was degraded in her estimation and held in contempt rather than with respect. This separating of child-from-mother caused her to resist me in every way, and I could no longer reach her heart nor enter her world. I was losing her more each day as our relationship morphed, splintered, and then fractured. My heart was breaking. Her older siblings were being drawn into the drama, which was causing additional discomfort.

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The presence of spiritual warfare was strong. I could feel it.

The timing was not surprising. Just when I thought I was ready for God to use me to help people suffering from emotional pain by showing them ways to heal from painful pasts, I was being side-lined by the Enemy as he sought to destroy my family and the ministry I felt called to begin. I had battled him before and was savvy to his tricks. He’s easy to spot once you know his ways. Satan seeks to divide and conquer, to cause pain and suffering as he disrupts and destroys what God has raised and blessed. He uses doubt, deception, manipulation, confusion and lies to accomplish his agenda. I felt his darkness, knew the confusion, saw the entanglements, and experienced the destructive attack on my family and me.

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I focused my attention on God. As I sang, my being began to fill with joy. My inner person was lifted by God’s presence. The joy of Him then completely filled me. So strong was His presence that I could barely contain my delight and happiness. A huge smile took control of my face and I couldn’t shut it down when I tried to minimize it. It seemed as if beams of light must be radiating from my being. It was all I could do to keep from jumping up and down–for I could barely contain my joy. It was like God was bursting His love in me. Beautiful. Amazing.

The problems didn’t go away. My daughter went to live with her dad.

God carries you through. The spiritual life is that way. Those who seek God will find Him. Genuine Spirit-Life is found in God. People who find God and center themselves in Him are Alive to God as the Holy Spirit and Christ’s resurrection life invigorates their souls.

Here is the unvarnished truth. Christianity is not a function. It is not a formality. It is not a moral code. It is not the external forms. It is not a religion. Christianity is a Life. When that Life–Father, Son, and Holy Spirit–has access to your life, it becomes Living-Life. Living-Life then begins to transform your inner person. A spiritually wise person will embrace this Living-Life and then allow God free-access without imposing self-will, self-limits or self-made barriers.

Alive in God is intentional Spirit-engaged, relational living.

Spiritual freedom becomes integrated with life and soul as we awaken to God’s Presence. People who are alive in this way are attractive to all who meet them. They are energized by God and for love of God. This is authentic spiritual living. Once in awhile a bonus comes with it, like my experience with fullness of joy. These are special times that enrich our souls. People who are Alive in God are never dour and rarely negative because they act out of the Spirit as they choose to push the flesh aside. The light of God reflects in their eyes and the softness of His touch is found in their expressions, although this is may be somewhat repressed when they are in the presence of rebellion, which stirs up conflict or rage against the Spirit Life. These Christ-following people are helpful, loving and other-focused.

The world craves authenticity, which is why it is quick to notice hypocrites.

Do we want to share Christ with the world? If so, our lives must reflect the image of Christ. What seems to be partially missing from spiritual formalities, creeds, and religious practices; missing from intense prayer, bible study, and obediences (although these all are important) is a concentrated, life changing, open Spirit-Life–the life of Christ in the interior self–where the soul finds itself released from what is not of  God and then centered in an unfettered, living relationship with the triune God; emphasis on ‘living.’ This is something that cannot be replicated or stamped on us like a patterned formula for living the Christ-life. What is also missing is pure godly love. Love springs forth from out of a Presence, from God’s living Presence at work in and through us. By becoming  ‘Alive in God,’ ‘Alive in Christ,’ ‘Alive in the Spirit,’ you will have something to offer anyone who asks ‘the reason for the hope that is in you.’

Eighteen months later my daughter returned to my custody via her choice, and her dad supported it. We are on good terms today and have become close once again.

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When Death Comes Knocking at Your Door

GUEST POST  by Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

Why is God letting this happen to ME?

The last time I visited my doctor a couple of weeks ago, he expressed surprise that I was still alive. That’s a funny feeling, because I never expected to be dying in middle age. In 2002 my gallbladder was removed, and something went wrong, leading to damage to the pancreas and chronic pancreatitis. I was told that it was only a matter of time until I developed pancreatic cancer.

That time seems to have come. I don’t have insurance or the money required for the tests that would confirm it (not to mention that no one is willing to do the invasive test required, because I’m such a poor operative risk), but I’m symptomatic and the deterioration of my condition over the past few months has become much more rapid. Things are not looking good; I can no longer leave the property, as riding in a car hurts too much. I can only walk short distances, am kept awake by severe and constant upper-abdominal pain, and have to force myself to eat. Not to mention nausea and other stuff.

My wife tells me I have a right to question God’s goodness, and even that perhaps I should. I don’t see why. Yes, there are a lot of Scriptural ‘promises’ of health and wealth and happiness, and preachers talk about good times being the birthright of God’s children.

Depends on how you define good times, I guess.

My life IS good. Though no one would say this illness and its symptoms are fun, it gives me the opportunity to witness to people who might one day be in my shoes, or have to take on the role of a caregiving spouse, that there’s still joy and purpose to be found in a life that’s become physically difficult.

It’s really my choice.

And I choose to try to make a difference because I believe that God did not send this; nor did He ‘allow’ it to happen. All manner of bad things happen in the world, some to far better Christians than I…but it isn’t by His hand.

He’s not using adversity to bring us closer to Him; that’s a technique used in interrogation, to be rough on a person and isolate him so that he becomes dependent on his captors. I don’t think God is like that.

He created a world – and us – that operates on the basis of free will. We have to choose to be with Him; that’s the only way our presence with Him will have meaning, and the only way our lives have meaning. If He were constantly shifting and arranging, bestowing favour here and not there, all He’d get would be people simply looking for ways to appease Him, and being in competition with one another..who’s the best toady? Who can put on the most humility, and thus gain the most favour? Creating a world like that would not make it dominated by Love; it would be ruled by fear and manipulation.

So the bad things happen,. and in their midst, we have to make the fatal choice…do we accept it as the only meaningful way to be able to have a relationship with God, by choosing to believe Him even in the midst of overwhelming pain and dread…or do way say, “This is UNFAIR!” and look for ways to impress Him with our offering, with bigger tithes, with hours of prayer, by going to church every day we can?

Clearly, the second way doesn’t make much logical sense, because we’re going to die anyway. One day, even if we’ve felt safe behind a hedge of protection, the monsters will break in, and kill us. Does this mean that God withdraws his favour at the end of a long life?

I don’t think it does. I believe that His favour is all around us, in the offer to stand with us, and to be the support and comfort that can carry our flagging spirits, and give us the will to keep pushing failing bodies forward.

He’s the still, small voice whispering, “Keep going. I hate this as much as you do, but if you take another step, you’ll have another opportunity to make OUR Kingdom better.” OUR Kingdom. You see, there it is. God made Heaven for the ‘us’ that includes Us…and Him. Together.

He showed us the way, up the Via Dolorosa to Calvary, and beyond, to the empty tomb. The transcendence that was His would become ours, as
long as we don’t force that cup away from us.

Jesus didn’t want what lay in His near future, and I don’t want the thing that’s on the horizon, that’s already entered the house.

But into His Hands I commend myself, body and soul. Because I believe in Him, and in two words, I have the proof that He believes in me, and is hurting right alongside me. No parent wants their child to suffer. And so…

Jesus wept.
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Andrew’s Service-Dog-In-Chief, Ladron

Andrew Budek-Schmeisser Bio –
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser lives on a mesa in New Mexico with his wife Barbara and a whole lot of rescued dogs. Though now sidelined by serious illness, he has worked in construction, security contracting, video script writing, and was a college professor for several years.

He is the author of a Christian contemporary romance, Blessed Are the Pure of Heart, published by Tate Publishing and available from all the best online retailers as well as Hastings outlets in the Albuquerque area.
book blessed are the pure Link to Andrew’s Budek-Schmeisser’s book on Amazon: Blessed are the Pure of Heart.

Andrew’s blog: Blessed are the Pure of Heart. (blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com)

Note: I have not read Andrew’s book yet but plan to soon. I will write a review and post it on my Book Feature.
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Andrew Budek-Schmeisser and I became acquainted through an online community of writers at Books & Such Literary Management, a Christian agency which provides a daily blog forum for book authors. Every day when I check the Books & Such blog, I find myself wondering if Andrew will be with us. It is a relief when I see his familiar face and read his intriguing comments.

What first impressed me about Andrew was his depth of knowledge and how well read and informed he is. Then I started reading his blog, and I learned more about him, his health situation, and his canine rescues. Andrew is living on pure determination, power of the will, and dependence on God’s grace. One thing I have learned about Andrew, he is affirming of others. Maybe because he has suffered through hard things in his life, he is more open. He affirms many of us who are rather new at blogging. I guess through his own blogging and writing ventures, he realizes it can be a lonely and isolating business. Thank you, Andrew, for being my guest today.
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Guest for next Monday: Shirlee Abbot: Shirlee is a blogger who features quotes by famous preachers like Charles Spurgeon and applies them to spiritual living. She is a wise lady who has depth in her spiritual insights. Her theme is construction, using signposts as markers to pay attention to. I know you will enjoy reading what she has prepared for us. Can’t wait!