Befriending Silence takes us in the back door and then into the life of Cistercian spirituality. As a lay Cistercian, the author writes this book in conversational language without losing the beauty of the practice of silence. He shows us, through a carefully written overview, the reasons why a person would (not should) seek to become a monk, in particular, a Cistercian monk. This is a kind treatment, one with affection and grace, that seeks to enlighten the reader to the joy of quietness in the presence of God, where words are not required and openness with God is rich and meaningful.
I am not of the liturgical community, but I have found the richness of what McColman speaks. There is much to be gained when one follows a spirituality of contemplation, where we listen and tune our focus and personhood to this ancient practice. I appreciate the fair treatment and information given. A few questions of mine were answered through the reading of this book. I love the title!
A couple of helps are in order. Look at these carefully. Which one is true of you right now? Image 1 or Image 2? You can’t have it both ways. It’s one or the other.
Image 1Image 2
As Christians, we are born of the Spirit i.e. born again. But on a minute to minute basis we are making choices as to how we will live: in the fleshly side of things or in the spiritual side of things.
Which door are you opening:to the Spirit ←OR→ Flesh? Here is an example that will serve a purpose.
Notice the three compartments: Spirit, Soul, Flesh. A person of faith, who is redeemed (regenerate) will still have minute by minute choices. We may choose to serve our flesh, or we may choose to serve things of the Spirit. We, as Christians, are either opening the door to the Spirit or we are opening the door to the Flesh. The two cannot be both open at the same time.
It is helpful to look at yourself as you go through your days and take stock of where you’re at. Are you opening the door to the spirit or are you opening the door to the flesh? It is fairly easy to evaluate this by noticing your thoughts and actions. If you fail to have alone time with God, it is almost impossible to live with the door open to things of the spirit. That’s why we need reflective, prayerful time with God.
Here is a pattern for learning to love God’s way. Love conquers because love is what God is. All He does comes from out of that love. If we want real and lasting change, once we identify those areas of weakness (our flesh patterns), then we can bring them to God and continually surrender them and our hearts to God. God infuses Himself into our lives when we allow ourselves to openly and honestly do business with Him.
ASK: Ask God to reveal Himself to you. Ask Him to help you become a new person, to help you change within your heart. Ask Him to help heal, repair, and renew your inner person however He wants to do that. You will do your part by getting alone with God and doing the hard work of listening and then responding.
When we shut the door on something He asks of us, then God becomes less active with us. Just like a counselor can only do so much if the counselee won’t do the hard work, God only works with what He is given. God is a gentleman, I’m serious about this.
SEEK: Seek God with an eagerness. Look for Him. Look in His Word. Seek His truth. Seek, don’t hide. Read, pray, and think about God. Fine tune your spiritual radar for things of God. Let go of all preconceived notions (other than Scriptural). Anticipate a few surprises on the journey.
FIND: Find what God gives you. Embrace His truth. Embrace Him. Find His newness. Let Him clean you up inside. Just let that ugly stuff go. Don’t hold onto it, because it is only hurting you. Find freedom. Find God. Find love. God responds to hearts that seek to find.
