My Mother, Grandmothers and Memories

A woman of God is a rare treasure

I have wonderful memories of my mother and my two grandmothers. I remember what it felt like to enter their homes at any time of the day. They welcomed me with love. I enjoyed being with them in their homes. I can recreate in my mind that warm, welcoming feeling of being in their presence. The joy they gave me was real, tangible, and heart-felt.

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Grandma Weigold-

At Grandma Weigold’s house with my sisters. Juanita, me, Uncle Vernon, Grandma W., Lois, Marilyn (& John). Juanita and I were new mothers. 1983

Grandma Weigold was my maternal grandmother. She styled her white hair in curls. She was a happy woman that spread the love wherever she went. We entered the porch before knocking on the front door. Grandma would greet us with a hug and a smile. Sunshine flowed through her home, literally and physically.

Grandma’s home was decorated with greenery from her yard which had flowering plants on all four sides. Her avocado, lemon, and grapefruit trees were prolific producers. Grandma wore bright clothing in the colorful mumuus that she wore around the house. Grandma played the piano and composed songs. Her spirit was one of joy and peace.

. . .

Grandma Brumbaugh-

My grandparents on their 60th anniversary with Mrs. Hall, who made the cake. Grandma Brumbaugh is on the left.

Grandma Brumbaugh was my paternal grandmother. She was a tall, spare woman. Grandma Brumbaugh wore her iron gray hair in a soft bun. At night, she plaited her hair in a long, thick braid. Sometimes she let me brush her hair before she braided it. Grandma Brumbaugh baked bread, pies, and cookies on Saturdays. I often went to her house when she was baking. We would talk while she baked. I loved this aspect of our time together.

My connection with grandma was special. Her quiet ways were similar to mine. She liked hearing my stories of high school, friends, and activities. Grandma was a woman of routines. She washed on Monday, baked on Saturday, etc. For pleasure, she tatted. She tatted lace to trim pillows, aprons, and dresses. Grandma sewed her own dresses. She made each of her eight grandchildren a quilt from leftover scraps of calico print material.

. . .

Mother-

Mother and Dad with Titus, my grandson. 2011

My mother was a great cook, a masterful seamstress, and an artist at heart. She knitted, crocheted, painted, and even did woodwork. If Mother put her mind to it, she could do it. On a summer day, I would visit my mother. She would make a large tuna with green salad or bacon, tomato, and cheese sandwiches.

We always drank iced tea. Mother and I canned produce from her garden. Mother was faithful in church and made sure that we attended youth group and Sunday services in our youth. When we were little, she read to us bible stories from a bible story book. Mother’s love, though, was the violin. She loved playing it. She performed solos in church and played in symphonies.

. . .

What my grandmothers and mother had in common was their faith. Their faith guided them in their pursuits, in they way they lived, how they treated their husbands, and in how they raised their families. They all read God’s Word and prayed. When we were school age, my mother would make us breakfast and then sit on the couch reading her bible and praying. That’s how she started her day.

Both my grandmothers’ bibles were well-marked with notes and underlinings. We would talk about spiritual concepts whenever the subject came up. A spiritual heritage cannot be measured, but its value is substantial. My mother and grandmothers put into my life spiritual teachings that have impressed on me the quiet grace of a woman of God. I am grateful for their Christian examples and unconditional love.

. . .

I close with these words.

You will teach them to fly, but they will not fly your flight.

You teach them to dream, but they will not dream your dream.

You teach them to live, but they will not live your life.

Nevertheless, in every flight, in every life, in every dream, the print of the way you taught them will remain.

-Mother Teresa

. . .

I wish you well on your spiritual journey.

What I Needed at Just the Perfect Moment

I felt unappreciated and worn down even though it was Christmas time.

The Christmas season had been a hard one.

I was glad to see the year end. It had been a strange one, full of events, hardships, sadness, and too few joys. The year had dispensed hurtful disappointments. Now it was ending—and none too soon, either.

Why did I have to feel this way? It seemed as if my spunkiness had gone down the drain, so to speak. My energy bank was depleted. My reserves spent. It was that time of year. I was putting a brave face on it but fissures in my exterior paint were showing evidence of wear and tear. A facade is only a facade, after all.

Feelings of sadness were awash over me.

Discouragement beset me. According to my earlier projections, it was disappointing. This wasn’t where I had hoped to be at this point in my life. I was trying to get a second career launched, with a writing and a care ministry for hurting women but all I encountered was wall after wall. I couldn’t seem to interest the people I needed to interest. Rejection has a way of pulling your spirits down until you sink like a puddle on the floor.

Outside circumstances compiled: a difficult, heartbreaking church transition, adjusting to the dimension that aging parents requires, friends with needs, the shuttering of a women’s ministry dear to my heart, being misunderstood by people I cared about, an inability to get my writing off the ground, and a daughter trying to figure it out—all taking a toll. Enough is enough, I thought.

I had hoped for more.

I had prayed for more. Yet ‘more’ had evaded me. Now there were new and bigger pressures. My time was compromised with endless doings. I wished for alone time. Time to sort it out, time with God, time to heal and breathe.

The desire for escape would rush at me, stop me, and take me back to years before where in my desert dark, unhappy events had isolated me from healing streams. I remembered its woeful tune, how hard it had been. No, I’m not going there. I never want to go there again, my heart cried that lonely Christmas morning. The tears had been unstoppable at times, when I was by myself. My inner misery took the ‘merry’ out of Christmas and the joy out of family gatherings.

At the end of the day, my family was saying our goodbyes in the kitchen at my folks’ house when my adult niece came over to me, a wrapped package in hand. She smiled at me; her eyes all a twinkle.

“This is for you, Aunt Norma,” she said.

I didn’t know why she was giving me something. We hadn’t done a gift exchange that Christmas. I carefully opened the gift. Inside was an antique-styled Scentsy, one of those delightful plug-in warmers, a wickless candle that holds scented fragrant waxes. Something that would look nice in my house. Her gift was feminine and sweet-looking—pink with scrolling rose and leaf designs. I loved it. I looked up and thanked her.

I paused for a second; then from my heart, I said, “I feel loved.”

And I did feel loved. Tears brimmed as we hugged. My heart healed a little bit that moment. Her gift, and the love behind it, met my internal need to feel special, wanted, and loved. I had been on empty but now love filled me.

How did she know I was in need of a loving gesture that day?

She didn’t know, but it meant so very, very much to this sad heart of mine that day. My niece got it right. Her giving me that gift at that specific time was one of those divinely orchestrated providential times where one heart ministers to another at just the perfect moment. I am grateful for the gift, the Scentsy Warmer, and grateful for the giver—my niece, dear gentle Annie, and grateful for the divine Giver—Jesus, the reason for the season, the Gift of gifts to every one of us.

A loving gift speaks to the heart. My niece blessed me with her heart.

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I wish you well on your spiritual journey.