Category Archives: Relationships

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Disappointments, Giving & Learning

Sometimes I look back at my life and see a trail of disappointments. Then I turn it around and see small and big steps forward and a scattering of accomplishments that made for a miracle, those achievements and graces that came through effort and blessing. I used to be afraid to speak up and had little or no confidence. It no longer hinders me. Unsettling self-doubt is still present, but I can get beyond it now.

imageThe secret is to never stop learning and growing (and loving, and giving, and so forth). Never, never stop.

It is best to reach out of your shell to embrace living rather than to self-protect and close up.

I have come to the conclusion that life really is about giving. Giving cannot be measured by standards of success. Even giving can be for all the wrong reasons. But quiet giving that doesn’t draw attention to itself, giving from the heart, produces miracles all around us. Some of us are those miracles that someone else contributed to in some special way.

A few weeks ago I went to a retirement dinner for a teacher of special education students. There were times in my career when I went to her for advice. Her advice was spot-on and stayed with me throughout my teaching career. During open mic I spoke up and gave her credit where credit is due. She contributed to my life in ways she might not have realized. And, so, the giving I received from her was in the best interest of the students, and it also had a positive affect on me.

I learned the value of choice from her. Instead of giving an ultimatum to a difficult student (you do this or else!!!), two choices are stated. Choice 1) What will happen if they complete the task or behavior expected. Choice 2) what will happen if they choose to not follow, or disregard the expectation. Then it puts the onus on the child. . .and the teacher MUST follow through. This removes the need for confrontation, which can happen with oppositional behavior (they will argue and not back down until you wield a punishment you can’t deliver on…this never works).

Disappointments will always be there. If we have learned from them then we have grown.

And that’s saying something.

Disappointments are stepping stones.
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It’s Ok to Cry When Your Child is Seriously Ill

Today we have a guest blog by Shelli Littleton. She is the mother of two daughters and writes from Texas. Welcome, Shelli.

GUEST BLOG:  IT’S OK TO CRY.     By Shelli Littleton

“A CT scan is scheduled for Monday.”

When our pediatrician discovered an abnormality in our 13-month-old daughter’s abdomen, I drifted home in a state of shock. After walking through the front door, I locked myself in the bathroom and ran water in the tub as hot as I could stand it. I sought a safe place to cry, where only God could see.

When the x-ray revealed a kidney tumor—no doubt it was cancer—I rocked my baby in the hospital room as she slept from anesthesia and could not restrain the tears.

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At Ronald McDonald House before surgery, and after she had been so sick from a virus.

I wanted to be strong … for my daughter, for others, for my family, for God.

And did crying mean I lacked faith? Would I fall apart?

I felt broken. I felt weak.

The following days leading to her surgery were horrendous—more tests, away from home, she contracted a stomach virus, more tears.

During her surgery, visits from family and friends in the waiting room falsely held me together. My smiles turned to a look of exhaustion. I felt it. Others saw it. I couldn’t pretend any longer. I could no longer play host.

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Shelli with Katelyn, recuperating from surgery.

After my daughter had been wheeled into her hospital room, she began to cry. An incision stretched from one side of her baby body to the other. Instead of placing our daughter on her back, the nurse placed her on her tummy … why? I don’t know. But our daughter raised up on her knees, crying. I’d never felt more helpless. I couldn’t fix her because she had tubes coming out of every location. More tears from me. My gut wrenched.

Later, when the room had emptied of friends and family and I remained for the long-haul, my baby girl began crying again. Not like you’d imagine a baby crying. Lying on her back, she had silent tears trickling down her cheeks. She hurt. Fear and lack of understanding took hold of her. Being just a baby, she couldn’t voice her thoughts. More tears from me.

I couldn’t leave her sight to simply walk into the bathroom without her crying. Without me crying.

After she settled, I slumped on the couch that would be my bed for the night. And I thought about Footprints in the Sand … how the Lord would carry me. How the Lord was carrying me. How I could trust Him. Even Jesus had cried for the loss of his friend, Lazarus, knowing full well He could and would heal him.

If Jesus cried, I knew my tears were justified. It’s okay to cry over loss. Our baby lost her right kidney, she lost strength in her ankles from chemotherapy, she lost security, and more losses that we would notice as time passed, but we didn’t lose her. And the cancer had not spread. We gained hope and the bond between us due to that season is strong. And every passing day that she recovered, so did I.

Crying didn’t mean I lacked faith. It meant that I could release the pain, that I could be real, that I could feel, that I would heal. Tears proved that I could rest and tenderly weep in the arms of the One who carried me.

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Karalee and Katelyn. Katelyn is celebrating 10 years cancer free up on the roof at Cook Children’s Medical Center.

shellie 5Bio:

Shelli Littleton lives in Royse City, Texas. She speaks on surviving hardships and writes for Woman’s Missionary Union’s magazine, Missions Mosaic. She welcomes you to visit her blog at www.shellilittleton.blogspot.com.

Her daughter, Katelyn, is a blessed 15 year old.

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A Gift Worth Keeping: It Goes with My Decor! is a book written by Shelli Littleton, published in 2013. It is available for purchase on Amazon.

Link: A Gift Worth Keeping: It Goes with My Decor

 

 

 

Note from Norma: Shelli and I are acquainted through Books & Such Literary Management. She is a tender-heart. I appreciate her warmth and upbeat personality. In a world that seems to not be very genuine, Shelli strikes me as someone who is genuine and kind. Thank you, Shelli, for writing this post for my readers. I’m so glad and thankful Katelyn is doing well.