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Conversations with Emily (24)

This marks the end of the conversations with Emily at this point in time. She and I continue to message back and forth every once in awhile. We will contact each other when one of us is needing some extra prayer or is struggling with some issue and just needs to talk.

This Marks the End

June 26, 20**

06/26/20**  8:04pm

Me:

Hi Emily, Glorianne is with her dad for a couple of nights, so I feel like I’m a free bird! He’s out from Vermont for a family reunion at a campground a couple of hours from here. Hey, I was wondering about your part in the new book. Is it similar to “Jennifer’s” book? (I mean, should I buy it!). I read the bio info on you. Thought it was great. I think its a brave step, to put a face on it. Maybe you will get to participate in book signings or speaking. You never know. On my blog bio, I added family pictures which have the father of my children in them on my blog site’s “About Me.” That even took some courage. I have no idea if he knows about my blog.

How are things going? Anything new?

Emily:

yes the book is worth buying….even if i am a lil biased, not like jennifer’s book at all. it’s 28 separate stories of 28 separate women where jennifer’s book was her story with maybe a dozen of ours intertwined…she was still telling it though. this book its me telling it.

Me:

Cool. Were you nervous?

Emily:

same nausea as with the other book

Me:

Do you feel that you are still under spiritual warfare, the enemy attacking? (I thought you were anyway)

Emily:

ya

its why I’m asking God for confirmation on some things before i act on them…wanna make sure its God I’m hearing and not some wolf in lambs clothing

Me:

I hear you. I was just talking about confirmation with my oldest daughter. She was unaware of that concept.

Emily:

i have to say…i had to ask a friend just today if it was ok for me to ask for confirmation…i know I’m supposed to be obedient and didn’t want the asking to be some form of lack of trust…just feeling extremely vulnerable and wanna make sure what I’m hearing is truly from God and not the enemy trying to get me to jump off a cliff

Me:

God confirms in three ways: 1. Through scripture 2. Through godly friends 3. Through the inward settled “at peace” feeling. If it wars inside your head, most likely it’s not God. I always pay attention to the peace factor. The enemy has misled me. So I ask God for confirmation, I even will put a time-table on it. Also, God never shouts at us. His voice is calm and weighted.

Emily:

yup

Me:

What I try not to do is to put God to the test. That scares me.

Would you like to share more? What this is about?

Emily:

what what is about?

Me:

What you are seeking confirmation about.

Emily:

oh ya…thats what we were talking about

I’m hearing i should quit my day job…this book may be opening up doors for more writing and potentially some speaking which is what i was doing before i became a mom…making my living on the road…and i love it…spending a couple weeks in July doing just that

Me:

That’s a big step.

Emily:

between my two businesses, writing, & speaking could i keep the house and still manage financially…God’s gotta make it clear

Me:

I’m getting off now. I’ll join you in prayer on this and that you will know fairly soon.

Emily:

thx

__________

June 29, 20**  9:03pm

06/29/20**  9:03pm

Emily:

No amount of reading or praying is working…gonna cry myself to sleep and pray tomorrow is another day…joy comes in the morning, right?

never mind…

06/29/20** 11:21pm

Me:

Sorry, I wasn’t on, Emily. I couldn’t sleep last night and was exhausted this morning. But I can blame mine on caffeine. Why the tears?

06/30/20**  4:13am

Emily:

Forget it

__________

July 1, 20** 6:36pm

07/01/2014 6:36pm

Me:

It must be a difficult time. Lots of people struggling right now.

Emily:

ya…some days i fight better than others

Me:

Me too. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say. Especially when they have a situation with a mate that’s difficult.

Emily:

Was just counseling sis tonight who’s struggling in her marriage

If I hear “however” one more time I just might shake her

Me:

Yep.

Emily:

I’ve never even been married…don’t know the first thing other than what i could hope for one day

Me:

Boy, I hear ya.

Emily:

all i can do is listen

so that’s what i do

Me:

Good. Probably best.

__________

July 2, 20**

07/26/20**  6:55pm

Me:

Would you pray wisdom for me. Stuff is going on in my church (behind the scenes) that is getting me concerned. I may have to take a hard line on a couple of issues. What I do impacts others since I’m leading the women. It grieves me and I see the devil’s manipulation of individuals. I may even have to leave the church eventually. I would take it as God moving me on. But there would be collateral damage. I need clear thinking and courage.

Emily:

Absolutely praying

Me: Thank you. I need it.

__________

. . .and so it goes. This is it, ‘The End,’ for now.

Healing the Divide: Recovering Christianity’s Mystic Roots by Amos Smith (Resource Publications, 2013)

This verse sums up this book, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you,” James 4:8 (NKJV). Amos Smith has written a tome to drive home a much-needed and oft-desired message directed to the passionate believer in Christ. It is his purpose to help the reader discover and then ignite a living, breathing relationship with Jesus. This book could be titled, The Jesus Paradox, since the theme throughout this book centers on Jesus Christ, the Divine (uppercase) God and the human (lowercase) man wrapped up in one God-being.

This writing demonstrates much passion by the author for his subject. Smith’s journey of faith took years to solidify, but it eventually led him to find something that deeply resonated with him, it was an honest search, which was found in the real, living aspects of Christianity. Smith’s search led him to read the Alexandrian mystics who lived during the middle ages and then on to an understanding and appreciation of Oriental Orthodox mysticism. What he found in their writings is a belief that is rich and real and, according to the author, fully centered on the God-plus-human, Jesus, a fully Divine person. The richness he found is shared in this work with an emphasis on centering prayer, which is the part I love the most. He goes on to share how centering prayer and silent presence with God is part of the daily spiritual pursuit and beckons the Christ-follower to discover a deeper level of  spiritual understanding–what it is to have a close relationship with God.

To be honest here, I had some trouble with the author’s take on fundamentalism and traditional approaches to creation and biblical tenants. I thought it a bit harsh and over-stated, maybe even somewhat blaming. My reaction had a basis. Quite frankly, I have some fundamentalist background and I first-hand know the label doesn’t fit many of the good and kind people caught within its limiting framework. The more I read his book, though, the more I could understand what it is that he dislikes about religion that over-emphasizes the system rather than the heart of belief. I could say the problem is when religious form overtakes spiritual process, where rigid beliefs hinder rather than grow an intimate spiritual life, which often is Pharisaical. True seeking of God is where one is able to find a living relationship with Him. This will take a letting go of barriers to belief that inhibit rather than grow faith. Fundamentalism can be a part of any rigid religious stance that fails to embrace Jesus and His living Presence, and thus, consequently, fails to change the heart. The point is well-taken. Spiritual life is about Jesus.