Posted on Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Discerning God’s Will: A Letter to a Son

An Unexpected Visit

IT WAS JANUARY 1, 2014 when I got an early call from Son 3. His big rig was broken down, and he had a day to kill while it was being repaired. His truck was stuck in a hole in the wall town on the I-5 just over an hour from us. I drove over and picked him up. We hadn’t seen much of my son ever since he had moved out of state and become a long-haul truck driver.

This was a treat! I fixed my son’s favorite breakfast: homemade pancakes with maple syrup made from scratch. A mother remembers what your kid likes. He spent some time with his sister playing video games and a good amount of the day talking with me. He asked many questions of me in regard to faith and the Church of the Brethren teachings of my childhood, as he began sharing with me his renewed and deepening walk with God. We talked about the will of God and how God works in our lives.

My son said something like this to me,

I don’t want to be a fifty-fifty Christian. I want to be one hundred percent otherwise it will not lead to happiness or contentment. A halfway Christian walks a tightrope between two worlds, the secular and the sacred. I just want to do what God wants me to do.”

This was surprising. He was speaking his truth and it came straight from the heart. He even looked different. His face was clear, looking free from worry and happier than I had seen it in years. I couldn’t help contrasting his present to his past, when he struggled with life, and struggled in general; those days when I worried about him and didn’t know how his life was going to play out. Seeing him now was like being witness to an astounding miracle.

We also talked about his future, what He believed God was calling him to do, and signs and wonders, and, lastly, how to discern God’s will. He believed God was calling him in a specific direction. I asked him “How do you know this?” I wanted to encourage him with his spiritual quest but with some caution. I shared bits of wisdom borne out of personal experience. I have seen people falter in knowing and following God’s will, and I didn’t want that for him.

The day was special. It was with a feeling of emotion that we drove him back to his truck, where he would sleep for the night. Over the next few days I thought a lot about our discussion about his future and God’s will. I found myself wanting to share more with him about what I have learned about these sorts of spiritual truths. They are never simple and they require a great deal of discernment and seeking, and keeping close to God. Otherwise we will find ourselves following our will, instead of God’s.

♥♥♥

A couple of days later, I sent him this email as my thoughts returned to our discussion.

Dear Son,

God calls people in different ways. He may wish of you a different path than the conventional one. I do caution you to not put too much emphasis on signs. They are easily misinterpreted and misunderstood. God warns us to not put God to the test, which we do with some of these. Instead, move forward and ask God to “check” you if it is not of Him. Stop if doubt formulates every time you think on some specific thing, even when it is a good thing. On the flip side, Satan also causes doubt in order to derail us.

The doubt must be figured out, if it is from God or if it is from the Enemy. I am talking in reference to direction and decisions, not about wondering if God will supply the answer. I have learned that God rarely shows us the future. Instead, He walks with us on the journey and opens the doors when we come to them. If we stay close to the Source, to Him, we will be in the center of His divine will, I mean, stay really close to Him, to where it is an on-going conversation, a relationship, not a one-way, one-sided trajectory.

I am like you, I have thoughts come to me while I am doing my daily tasks. However, they are not always God’s thoughts. Sometimes they are mine even when I’ve requested Him to speak to me. It takes time and practice to be able to discern God’s voice even when seeking Him intently. I do know, also, that if I have sin in my life, it will block the dialogue and influence the perception. We have to ask God to reveal our hearts and our wrong thinking.

Literally, it can take me an hour to three to get to the place where I know it is God’s voice, not always, but when I am totally serious about something troubling me or an important decision, and still sometimes I don’t get there. It is like I have to pull off the layers of thoughts that crowd in that seem to be God at first. I do ask God if it is Him, but not very often. Usually there is a time quotient involved. Often the answer comes in stages.

Many works of God and fulfillment of prayers are answered over years, not days. I now understand this. I used to get impatient. As Treebeard says in The Two Towers, “Now don’t be hasty, Master Meriadoc.” That’s how it works most times. Even the work of God in your life started years ago and is in answer to mine and others’ prayers. I think of my friend who still prays for you every single day. Not many have a faithful prayer warrior like her. She gets credit in heaven for her faithfulness. I believe God put you on her heart and gave her that desire, a true “God Thing” and just because you remind her of her grandson who has turned away from things of God and that causes her pain.

Another thing I have noticed is this, a restlessness is present when God is wanting a change from me. That has been more true in recent years than in the past. Even in the restlessness, I have to wait, not act, until the time is right. Your future? I do not know, but I do believe you will know when the time is right.

You are to be faithful to the task He has given you to do. See it this way, I will be the best truck driver I can be with God’s enabling as I travel town to town and meet people in every place where I have a truck delivery. If you really want to be daring, surrender your job to Him and then see what happens! Ask Him to release you from your quietness and to place His words within you when you meet people on your journey. Start recording the things that are small miracles of God.

When you start looking, they start appearing. Small opportunities will happen when you do this. Many little things create big things. I do believe God will stretch you to a greater trust in this process of moving you from one job or occupation to another. He is stretching your faith and growing your godly character. He is creating a new inner person. I see it and believe it. Praise Him! To God be the Glory.

Hope this helps. I’m sharing with you things that have taken me years to learn.

Love you,

Mother

♥♥♥

Dear Father God,

What a rich miracle it is to see my son turn his face toward you to receive your love in daily doses. Thank you for answering the prayers I have prayed for him. It is a miracle of your grace. You use time to answer our prayers of long standing. I love you, Lord. I give praise to you for your abundant mercies and unending love.

In Jesus’ Precious and Holy Name, Amen

God's miracles come in spurts and fits. A mother's letter to her son.
Click To Tweet

Posted on Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Security for Your Soul: Life Journey no. 6

The Need for Security

WE are human beings, spiritual beings, and besides that, we are physical, emotional, intellectual, and relational beings. All of us are made to connect with our world. People enjoy meaningful connection with other people, with nature, animals, music, interests, our environment, creative energy and such. Connection is significant, even for the isolated person.

I went to my 40th class reunion alone. None of my former friends, quiet types, were attending. So I asked God to give me a few people to speak and relate to, and for Him to guide the conversations. I didn’t want to let my nature as an introvert to get in the way of a nice evening. The only reunion I’d been to was my ten year.

It was like an amazing evening. Let me take you there. I see J. P. talking with others. J. P., who I last saw in the pediatric ward when my two year old, firstborn son was in traction. I know I want to speak with him before the night is over. J. P. is as well liked as ever, everyone swarms around him. He was one of a few African-Americans in my class of 400, a mostly white high school. We had talked on occasion as high-schoolers.

I wait to approach him until I see an opportunity, when he is alone. I introduce myself, and he says he remembers me. I ask about his life. He pauses a moment, and he then comments that for many years he lived in Hawaii and worked there as a singer and actor. “While there,” J. P. says, “Something wonderful happened to me that changed my life.” He pauses, and then tells me, “I found Jesus.” Wow, I think. We sit down and have a vigorous conversation.

Minutes later, an unsteady, well-groomed woman I don’t recognize comes over to us, she’s with one of our classmates. She is strung out on something. The woman asks our names. Then she bends close, interrupts our conversation flow, and conspiratorially asks, “What is it about you two? You’re different than everybody else in here.” He and I exchange glances. What’s this? Then she whispers to me, “I just found out I have cancer, and it’s serious.”

Right then, I know this is important, probably a God-thing, and that I should care about her soul. She might not have much time left to prepare for eternity. God has dropped this one in my lap. Joe and I ask her questions about herself, she’s a few years younger than us, and gently we begin sharing Christ with her. She keeps making statements about how she can’t do this, she could never find God, shaking her head like it’s an impossibility. “You don’t understand,” she says. She is fairly incoherent, out of it, and we have to keep repeating ourselves to be heard over the music. I’m praying for God to give me the words He wants me to say, and that something will sink. Joe and I share God’s love for her for probably about fifteen to twenty minutes until we get interrupted, again, by someone else.

J. P. tells me he works in juvenile hall in a town not far from mine. He says he plays his guitar and sings during the breaks as teens gather round him and that’s how he shares his light (Jesus). The rest of the evening is much the same; conversation-by-amazing-conversation. The two M’s, who I knew from fifth grade on–the one becoming the student body president our senior year–have done well with their lives…they were always bright lights (I used to play checkers with M 1. on rainy day recesses in sixth grade).

Shy me, I determine I am going to talk with them, and it ends up being a blessed few minutes. After sharing about ourselves, our families and occupations, I tell them I recently wrote a book. “What kind?” “Spiritual, and contemplative.” “That’s cool.” They smile. I say, “I always knew both of you would be successful.” M 2. replies, “So are you; you’ve written a book, raised five kids, taught second language learners . . . You’ve done well.” I was never in their category, but the compliment sings, we are equals in life. It’s a sweet, but brief, conversation, and it makes me happy. I always liked both of them. I’m jazzed.

We are made to know God.

Purpose also contributes to who we are a human beings. Religion seeks to explain our purpose and seeks to assert meaning to human existence. Religion explains who we are and where we came from, and what to believe about it. Even atheistic teachings and scientific explanations are in this category as they seek to explain what is difficult to explain: Our origin, and our purpose. I was reading about a church for atheists that holds regular services. They sing, celebrate their beliefs, and teach their congregants. They are doing what comes natural to a person, that’s the soul part, the need to know “why,” the itch that needs to be scratched. Purpose is wrapped up in this desire to know “what it’s all about.”

I speak from a heart transformed by God. I believe God desires personal relationship with every person on earth. His purpose meets our purpose; we find divine mission there. We are made for relationship with God. He designed us to respond to His grace and His love. As created beings, we are given the right to choose our level of response, whether it is to ignore or to reject His offer, or to be open and to embrace what He offers–to believe and receive, to be born again, and to access a growing relationship with God. God wants to be close to us. But we must believe, first.

Much of society has a wrong impression about God. An assumption is made, that if there really is a God, He is looking for ways to disapprove, punish, and confuse our efforts. If that were really the case, we would respond to the idea of God with fear, afraid our lives would be ruined if we were to choose to follow Him. Churchianity (my term), rather than Christianity, can confuse the issue, when the institution rather than the “life” has become a stumbling block to the person outside, looking in. What is missing is liveliness in Christ, what He offers through salvation–in personal relationship with us, and prayerful surrender. This relationship will produce peace, not pain; love, not disregard, and cleansing, not death.

Christ answers the question of what matters in life. He is what matters, His gentle, strong, and true being. Human purpose is wrapped up in an inward desire for meaning and significance. This need is met as we open our heart and life to the Spirit of God. God is Living Being. Like us, He desires intimate relationship. Our emptiness will be met when we seek God without preconceived expectations. Our spiritual selves will awaken in a unique way. I often feel sad that people don’t know my Jesus, really know Him. If they did “really know Him,” they wouldn’t reject Him and they wouldn’t bolt from the fold, nor would they be sour and dour. Once you “really know Jesus,” you will never be the same, because 1) you can never be the same, and because 2) Jesus Christ gives you His eternal life that’s new and active every single minute (that’s a sermon in itself!).

Life is full of ups and downs. We respond to life by constantly sorting incoming experiences. We find it difficult to feel secure in an uncertain, and often, hateful, world. There is little we can be sure of. The only secure thing we can have in this insecure setting is divine Being, a God Who cares, loves and desires closeness with us. God does not prevent troubles, those are part of living in a fallen world, but He does give us strength to bear up, and He provides us living life to re-energize and remake our approach to life. God is like a parent who is crazy about their child, who has a love that will never die.

God will never abandon us. We are secure in Him. It is our part to trust and follow Him–and that takes time and openness. It is His part to hold us in the palm of His hand.

My friend, maybe you’ve never had a relationship with God. You don’t understand what I’m talking about. You find yourself curious or put off by this message. No worries. Ponder what I have said and give it some thought. Don’t be surprised if God begins to draw you to Himself through thoughts, books, unusual circumstances, and people. I find God to be the answer to my brokenness. There once was deadening and despair, now there is newness and life. I find God to be a loving Father. He wants me to seek and know Him. The more I know Him, the more it changes me, and the more my life becomes full of living Presence. It stirs in the inner person much like a miracle one can’t quite comprehend. It’s beautiful.

Security is not bound to circumstances. Security is bound to Christ. He is the most secure Being you will ever chance to meet.

Assignment:

Read John 1 – 3. The “word” is Christ. These chapters unfold the meaningful relationship you can have with God.
Remove any barriers that make you afraid to trust God.
Release what seems to bind and hold you from seeking relationship with God.
Talk to a godly person who has an active, living relationship with Christ. Share with them what you’re doing and learning.
Ask this person to pray for you, for God in your life, for hope and healing, for newness and new life.
Pray, “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner.”