As told by the Little Sugar Pumpkin. In his own words. . .
I’m a tiny little sugar pumpkin. It was awfully boring sitting in that store bin, but I have to say, there wasn’t much I could do about it. I kept complaining to the other pumpkins, “Oh my goodness, isn’t anybody going to pick me? Tomorrow is Halloween!” Sigh. We were running out of time. Sigh.
Would you believe it? Right then and there a nice lady with long white hair came over to my bin. Oh boy!!! I tried to get her attention,”Over here. Look at me! Yoo-hoo, I’m over here!” She was looking at all the other little sugar pumpkins. Holding them up and looking at their shapes from all angles. And then she reached down and lifted me up, twisting me this way and that way. “Hmmm,” she said, as I tried to be my orangiest best for her.
“My, my, you’re a nice little pumpkin. I think you’re perfect,” and that’s how I got to go home with her.
First, she washed me and dried me off. Next, she cut me a top and then cleaned out my insides. The lady told me she was going to make me into a personality. My face began to take shape once she finished my triangle eyes. She whispered to me, “You need to have a smile.” It took a bit of time and hurt a little bit but soon I looked real cool. She lit a white taper candle and dripped some wax inside of me and pressed a stub of candle into the warm wax. “Now, let’s see how you look.” She put on my top and then re-lit the candle. This time we both smiled; she at me and me at her.
“But we’re not done yet. You’ll see why I wanted a pumpkin shaped nicely on both sides.” The lady began to carve again. Soon I had a cross-shape on the back side of me. “Now, for a heart,” she said, “The cross wouldn’t be finished without a heart of love. The Father gave his son for all of us because of his great love. That’s why you have a cross. The candle is like the light of God shining out from within you, my sweet little pumpkin. I want everyone to know that Jesus gives us light and love. Everyone who looks at you will notice your cross.”
I felt all snugly inside after she said that to me. So that’s how I got a cross on my backside.
We went to church that night. She talked about me with the children at their Awana club. They liked it when she lit my candle. I glowed brightly for them. The children ooo’d and aaah’d. They liked me! As they looked at my cross, she told them that Jesus loved them and how the light of God’s love shines in us. I liked that, because it’s true. Jesus does love them, every single one of them.
“This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.” That’s what I like to sing when nobody is looking. This is my little light and it shines the cross of Jesus to everyone who walks up to my owner’s door. She wants them to know about Jesus. Tonight is Halloween and I’m sooo looking forward to it. The kids will be pirates, ghosts, and witches, and I will get to shine my light for them. How cool is that!
“Trick or Treat, smell my feet. Give me something good to eat!” Oops, I’m not supposed to say that! You have a nice Halloween, okay?
You don’t know what you don’t know until you know it.
HEALING: Talk 2
My Testimony Part 2: HEALING Length of audio – 53. minutes
Today I am posting the second part of my testimony. It explains how God healed me, layer by layer, pain by pain. He cleansed me and made me new. The first posting about the first part of my testimony, the pain in my life, can be found here. Please open your heart and allow understanding to come in. I believe there is something here for everyone. God bless you.
WHY HEALING?
Teaching during those hard years. I kept it together somehow.
Back in 2002 I knew my life needed to change. Embracing change is a personal choice. I opened up my inner self to God and proceeded to give him free reign to do what only he could do. Circumstances had brought me to a point of giving up doing spiritual life my way. I had no idea what would happen next.
That was one smart move. God must love it when we stop the performance trap and begin to let go and listen. That wasn’t my motivation, though. Pain had buried me. I didn’t want to live that way any longer. I needed a new life.
God took me at my word. The path forward was withering away. My teaching position was done other than summer school. I entered a new journey into seeking God. With the children home the summer was still full; but I began in earnest to seek answers to my questions, to look to God for what I needed, and to search God’s Word for comfort. I became teachable. Journal writing became an exploration-driven commentary where I listed book quotes, bible quotes, pain, and my angst concerning the marital separation, my children, and life in general. I was in the hurting place and was pulled in many directions.
My daughter and I singing “You are My Sunshine” for a Women’s Ministry event. I was leading the women but my heart was not okay. Now on my road to emotional healing and recovery, God was at work to show and reveal what would bring change into my life.
Challenges be-set me. Indecision became part of this uncertain path. The upsets continued. I couldn’t seem to get past what had happened to me and my family. So wrapped up in the confusion and pain, I became much less available to my children and their needs. I was barely coping. It wasn’t pretty. Daily spiritual times were spent more out of personal need than for any other reason.
Change began to flower in me. Now that I had lots of time to seek God because I wasn’t teaching and my own were back in school, I could spend hours reading my bible, meditating on its words, writing down my thoughts, and praying to God. I would record it all, not for posterity, but as a resource to return to time and time again.
Like a psalm, my thoughts would go from sadness and pain to acknowledgment of God and his grace. My prayers became long, deep, and rich. Pondering the meaning of it all became a frequent process where I invited God to be present in an open way. A year later, I was hired back and finishing up graduate school and later became the district’s reading specialist. God took care of us.
God became real to me. Little by little the change came in as I focused my being on knowing God and his ways. Joy entered, healing occurred, forgiveness flooded, sadness began to lift, and God became real as real can be. Situations kept happening, and new pain arrived, but I was different and could handle them better than before.
A couple of friends became central in this time of sorting and growing. They were my supports and let me talk and talk. Indeed, my life was on the fast track to a new understanding of God’s love and grace. God had become alive in me. His truths were enriching my life.
Five years of this and then I decided to share my story with my church family. It took two Sundays. The church was packed both Sundays. People were curious what I would
Healing is coming in. Joy is entering. My life is being renewed. I’ve shared my testimony and God has blessed it. Praises!!!
have to say, and they all showed up, plus a few others. My story of pain surprised them, they had no idea. The next subject was my healing. For the healing section, my father, mother, and brother and sister-in-law were present. I appreciated their willingness to come. My brother, Paul, was taking notes as I talked, and later we talked about the points I’d made in the talk. The content had resonated with him. It was beautiful. That was ten years ago.
An interesting side-dynamic unfolded during my two talks. After the first talk, on pain, the women gathered around and wanted me to know how much it had touched them. After the second talk, on healing, the men came up to me and talked about what had touched them. They showed compassion for my ex-husband who had been part of our church fellowship for a decade and some of the men told me parts of their own stories.
My talk had opened a door that had been closed. From this, I learned different areas appeal to different groups and to never treat something as a given, to trust God for the journey. That is one of the reasons I write for both genders.
ENDING NOTE: Never doubt what God can do. He wants you to be free of the emotional stuff that makes your path difficult. His healing and renewal comes in layers for most people. It must be sought with a whole heart. Believe in his ability to meet you where you live and believe he is capable and real. God doesn’t play games with us. I’m so grateful. If you have questions regarding my testimony, leave a comment or contact me using the contact link on this page. God bless you.
I include the photos to provide context for my story. I hope you don’t mind. Shortly after telling my story along came the next big test. It often works that way. You think you’ve made it and the newness is permanent, but you end up going further with God. Expect that to happen whenever you feel you’ve arrived. You become tempered and tested and soon you know whether the change is real and lasting or not.
Praise be to God for the way he carries us through and gives us grace and wisdom regardless of the situation. Enter his presence. Receive his love. Experience much joy!
