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Reflections on 2017

My friends, the year 2017 is closing out and with it we come to an end of Tuesday and Friday postings on this blog. For 2018, I will post here on Wednesdays. This blog’s content will continue to be spiritual in nature with a few announcements thrown in. I am reactivating my other blog site at meridianwoman.blogspot.com to post on occasion, which will be more sporadic, less formal, and more conversational. I feel I communicate best when I am informally talking about what is important to me.

2017

Those on the front lines get hurt.

Years ago I was reading “The Happiest People on Earth” when the author, Demos Shakarian, a dairyman who started Full Gospel Business Men’s Fellowship, shared a story about an evangelist who fleeced the flock on the final night of evangelistic meetings. The organizers wouldn’t touch the money and let the evangelist take it all since it was not done God’s way. After it was over, the author was discussing with another man what had happened. This other man acknowledged the wrong-doing but then said something surprising. He said that sometimes “those on the front lines get hurt,” and something to the effect that God would meet out justice. I’d already experienced some pain that comes with leading, and I could identify with the statement.

I could say, in 2017 I felt some of the pain that comes with leading, and also some of the distress that comes with stepping aside from a ministry you love and believe in. I would not wish to repeat 2017, ever. It was double hard on two fronts: church and caregiving. Both are important and dear to me. I’ve had to let go of ministries that mattered to me. This made me feel like I was losing a precious child, especially a ministry I began and shaped. That’s a hard thing to say goodbye to, but sometimes you do and for reasons you won’t state publicly.

. . .

Before I left my profession as a teacher,  I felt God calling me to step it up and use my gifts and talents for the Lord through writing and speaking. I intentionally talked to people I respected who had made life-altering decisions. I asked them how they knew the choice was of God. One was my brother-in-law. He and my sister left Panama to come to the States to offer a home for his mother and to start a Spanish-speaking church. It was hard on them because they loved the Panamanian people with whom they had ministered. From what he told me, I knew it hurt to leave their ministry behind. They did what God called them to do, but it’s not all been cushy, and they’ve had some disappointments too.

When we give and give and give in a ministry but without much support or validation, we can begin to feel used up and unappreciated. As we get older, it becomes more noticeable. This year I had to work through feelings of discouragement. I wondered if anyone had been impacted by what I had given over decades of service. That particular feeling is empty, void, and can be bitter. I had to fight it. I was also wounded, which was where these emotions stemmed from and bled.

Despite the desire to self-absorb, repair, and run for the hills (go to another church), God impressed me that I was to remain, and I was to “love them.” The ability to love people who have caused you and others distress and pain is not natural or easy. I can’t claim to know how, for I don’t. But God does. He already loves them. For months I was in tears. I have learned to ask God to show me what he wants me to do or say, and then he does but usually in different ways than I expect. God is teaching me to honor and serve him in all things.

. . .

Another struggle was the lack of completion of my writing projects. Constant interruptions and lack of self discipline was frustrating me. Was it worth it? Again, I wasn’t sure if my voice was worth all the long hours of writing, editing, writing, week after week. I wrote a letter to my family, asking them to become a prayer support team for me, because I felt so alone and unsupported, and if they would allow me to post my testimony on my blog. That was a big step for me. Their response was appreciated.

For all this, I looked to Jesus and cried out. He enfolded me in his love and gave me other friends to lean on; these dear ones heard my heart and loved me anyway.

Prayer has become my ministry. God has asked me to pray a specific amount first thing every morning. I thought I couldn’t possibly stay awake to pray that long, but he keeps me awake. This is intercessory prayer, so we’ll see what God is going to do in 2018. He acts on our prayers, so I’m expecting specific people to come to the Lord because I’m asking God to reach down into their hearts. He does that kind of thing. I’m asking for healing, emotional and physical, for others. I full well expect God to honor those prayers too. I love praying, interceding, and then embracing whatever God sees fit to give.

. . .

Caregiving is a precious time with one’s family, but it is also draining on the emotions. I’ve had to learn how to cope with this strain. My sister became my go-to person. She listened and listened, talked and talked, helped and helped. We’ve drawn closer than we’ve ever been. She and I celebrate the victories that come with caregiving for your folks. We’ve had to surrender some of our own wants and desires, but that’s what love does. Love gives. You learn a lot about your own self while assuming a caregiving role.

. . .

The best thing for me this year was the multiplicity of hours I’ve spent in one-on-one conversations with a few special women (seven, to be exact). I juggled my meetings with them so I could still have time to write and caregive. Over the course of this year, every week has held long hours of conversation. They’ve all been rich and good. I’ve grown to love each one of these women very much. They’ve become close to my heart (and part of my heart). When they hurt, I hurt. They bless me. They teach me. And they love me, and I love them. It is so wonderful to be loved and to hear one of them say “you get me,” because I do or “I love you,” which is true of how I feel about them as well.

If you’re one of those wounded folks, struggling with life as it is for you. let me encourage you to stay the course. We all have it to do. Life is a strange journey, and we all tire of its hardships. But that is when we’re looking at our human traits and the things that wear us down. God never stops something without giving you something else. Embrace the future. Put your hand to the plow and keep moving forward! Extend grace to those who caused you pain. Look for someone who needs your help. They’re everywhere.

Happy 2018!

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A Christmas Reading

The Holy Night

The night seemed no different than the one before but something was a foot. The hustle and bustle of travelers as they made their way in and out of town made it busier than usual. This was expected according to the laws of the land that required the travelers to register.

She was tired; it had been a long day of traveling. Not easy for a woman ‘with child.’ A sense of urgency was upon her. Dear, kind and faithful Joseph, was finding it difficult to secure a room for the night. Her heart warmed at the thought. His actions had proven that her man was honorable and God-fearing. Twinges came and went. Was her time at hand? This was an uncomfortable thought.

“Yes, Joseph? A stable?” Not where she would have picked to stay the night, but it would have to do. There was no room to be had.

Hours later, she held her first-born son for the first time. She was amazed at his tiny fingers and toes as she counted them. All there! His sweet-smelling, newborn skin was soft. Joseph helped her swaddle this son they would raise together, though the baby was not his’, but God’s, as amazing as this was. The angel had predicted this baby boy.  They had named him, Jesus, in keeping with the angel’s message.

Mary held her son tight and felt his warmth. How could this be?  she thought, as she beheld the holy babe, her son, Jesus, God in flesh, a miracle of all Miracles. The magnitude of this holy blessing flooded her soul, and she gave praise to God.

Joseph gazed at Mary. His heart grew warm within him. She really was something! He thought back to how the angel had confirmed her story, their story. Her strong character was evident long before that. He knew people would not understand their story, and he didn’t expect them to. For him, it was an honor to stand by her side. He would be her protector. He knew their journey from this point on was not going be easy. But according to the prophecies, it would change the course of history.

Dear Mary, kind, gentle Mary, innocent and chaste, a woman with trusting and godly behavior that set her apart from the other young women. He knew she would always be strong in character and pure in heart. She looked as innocent as the baby she held. He marveled when her eyes met his. Tears of awe and love exchanged between them. A trace of a smile graced her lips as they both looked at the child now entrusted to their care.

On the hills nearby, a group of hard working men were watching the sheep settle down as the night air cooled and became crisp. These ordinary men, shepherds by trade, took their job seriously; making sure their flock was safe from harm. They held a healthy respect for the land, animals, and God. This night was like the night before, and like the next would be, too.

Suddenly the sky filled with light; its brightness was exceedingly brilliant. Startled and frightened, these shepherds felt fear jump in their throats. Their hearts pounded. Their bodies quaked, what was this?

Fear not, I bring you tidings of great joy. For unto you is born this day in the City of David, a Savior, Who is Christ the Lord. You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.

Then the night sky filled with heavenly beings. Glorious angels, heralds, messengers of truth, their angelic singing was showering God’s glory across the night sky.

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace and good will to all men.

Its message was meant for them, and a message for all people. What glory! What a message! Yes, they must go and find this babe in a manger so they could worship Him. They made their way quickly, their faith in the message entrusted to them by the angels, sped them along as fast as they could go, to find the Christ-Child. With noble hearts, with gentle bearing, they entered the stable and knelt before their King as they honored the lowly Jesus, their God.

That wondrous night had more gifts to give. God was announcing to the world that his Son, on whom the whole world’s future would hinge, had joined the human race as a baby, born into the world to fulfill his plan for humankind’s redeeming. Jesus Christ and Lord of all would be the hope and Redeemer through which eternity would be purchased for all humankind. Jesus was the Father’s gift to the human race. Through the obedient life of his Son their relationship with God would be restored.

A star in the east shone bright and clear. These wise, learned, and astute men took note of it. This was most unusual, but they had waited in anticipation and with expectation. Discussion was undertaken. The magi, wise men, knew this was a summons. They would follow the star for there was a message in the star.

The journey was slow and arduous. When they sought the promised child in Bethlehem, the City of David, King Herod was of no help. In fact, he had a forked tongue and spoke lies about his kingly intentions. They would seek the new King on their own.

The star took them to a humble abode. With holy reverence, the magi offered their precious gifts to the Christ child; gold, frankincense and myrrh. Gifts fit for a King. Their hearts filled with wonder as they worshiped the young child. This was the end of their quest—and it was the honor of a life time.

The biblical Christmas story, the birth of Christ, is no less than spectacular, in epic proportions by human standards. By God’s standards, it was much, much more. The life of Jesus Christ, his birth, life, death, resurrection, and ascension, changed, and will continue to change the world, one person at a time.

Real life, in contrast to regular living, is experienced through spiritual transformation. That is what Christ came to give each one of us. Christ’s story becomes your and my story through the message of the cross. Jesus became the Savior of the world for you and for me. This old story becomes one that is new every day—for all who embrace our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Won’t you place your trust in him?