Light in the Darkness

MIA – Missing In Action

You may have noticed I’ve not been posting lately. I’ve been in a funk ever since the Covid hit. Plus there has been some extra-stretching moments in recent months. My family has entered a new season with my father, which involves all four of us siblings. This means zoom calls, teleconference calls, group texts, hosting Dad, and uncertainty. Plus, the pressure of the pandemic and life in general have their challenges. I spend most days alone, which gets tedious. I like to be informed, that means I follow politics and listen to commentators. What’s going on in America is rather unsettling, at best.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Iron Sharpens Iron

Our Wednesday ‘Pray for America’ sessions bring some welcome relief. I cherish this time of praying for my country, and I appreciate my Twitter friend who walks this journey with me. Every week she shares insightful thoughts in private messages. This past Wednesday I listed out lies people believe and prayed that they would come to see the truth.

What’s Going On

However, the brain gets in a fog. My spirit’s are down. My energy is wanting. My joy, subpar. Hence, I couldn’t do my thing here on this site in good conscience. I didn’t want to be fake or write with pretense. It’s like I was sitting in the dugout for three weeks, waiting for my turn at bat. I had ideas but didn’t have the energy. Last Thursday I spent an entire day on a mini staycation. I read a breezy book intermixed with two other good books.

A languishing spirit and a lack of accomplishment means my goals for 2020 remain unmet. Call it what you will, it feels like failure, guilt, a lack of discipline, and hopeless. Of course, that’s not good, and I can’t make any excuses.

All of this pushed me to take a serious look in the mirror. Something wasn’t quite right, and I knew it. I had to pay attention. It paid off. Looking the situation over gave me permission to fail, clarity as to what’s going on with me, and permission to move forward by embracing whatever comes next.

Take a Proactive Look

I’ve been around the mountain a few times, and knew what I had to do to get out of my rut. I remembered recent years and the major occurrences that affected me. I saw where taxing, challenging, self-defacing situations regarding my parents’ care; my church reorganization and merge—which was hard on me; and on-going challenges in home and yard maintenance issues—with limited funds to do it all. I saw where these have depleted me spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and physically. Putting these worries aside have become a daily thought issue. I’ve had to forgive, let go, and rebuild. Most troubling, though, is something more serious. My spiritual walk is no longer fresh, my writing seems less uplifting, and (gasp) I am stale! Stale is not good for a writer to be!

Now What?

One evening I walked into the guest room to see if it was in order, when I stopped. I stood still. Weight from the inner tension stifled me; heavy, repressive. Tiredness overwhelmed. I couldn’t stand the fog any longer. I looked up and spoke. “Help me! I need Your help.” Tears brimmed. I wanted God’s refreshing Spirit.

“All my longings lie open before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you. My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes.” -Psalm 38:9-10

That’s how it feels. The fuzziness grips hard. Down feelings make you act different, lost and alone in the middle of life. Hope is on the distant shore. Yet you know you will make it. Things will get better. You hold on to that thing called hope.

You Can Do This

Examining your walk, life, and overall health is a must-do when a problem surfaces one too many times. Troubles and struggles come in many forms. Some are circumstantial and can’t be remedied. These sorts bring a host of side issues that tug at your happiness while muting your spiritual fervor. Some of its telling signs are resentment, bitterness, anger, worry, frustration, detachment from others, fleshly indulgences, dullness, lethargy, and tiredness. The assault on the soul grows and thrives—until they are examined and seen for what they are, such as a negative reaction to a past event (like trauma) or a present event (like isolation) or situation.

Give it to God. Give it all to God. Let Him have it. Say it. “Help me! I can’t do this.” “You take it.” “Show me what’s wrong, what I can do, how to manage it appropriately.” “And could you send me some encouragement, Father?” You learn to rest in Him, to trust Him. You choose to move forward, step by step. You may have to make some necessary adjustments, changes that will facilitate the better good.

Cleaning the kitchen, folding laundry, putting things away, I was busy, busy, busy. A few hours into the next day, I paused. What’s different? I’m getting so much more done. Nothing came to me. Time went on, then; Oh, I know why. I prayed “Help me” last night. That’s why. God answered my prayer. He’s helping me. That’s why I have more energy. “Thank you, Father God. You’re so good to me.” Warmth filled my being. Gratefulness flooded my heart. Yes, God is good … all the time.

A Few Suggestions

You do this thoughtfully and circumspectly. You connect with a good friend and speak your heart. You may connect with a counselor or program that has answers where you have questions or concerns. Lastly, and this is important, you begin to reach out to help someone else. You are needed. You are wanted. You matter.

Feed your whole-self a measure of health-building richness. Eat fresh, wholesome foods. Hydrate often. Exercise in a way that works for you. Connect with others. Read, listen, enjoy, broaden your interests. Smile, laugh often, rejuvenate. Look on the bright side. Refresh yourself in God’s Word. Read lyrics to inspirational songs. Do something to get outta that rut.

It helps to stop immersing yourself in negative commentary. There’s a lot of hatred these days. Remove yourself from mentally exhausting situations, if you can. Fear and anxiety are prone to be reactions facilitated by what a person watches or listens to. Not in a good space? Don’t do it. Too much stuff on the dark side promotes fear and anxiety, and even hopelessness. Dark dreams can be an indication of this. Sleeplessness is another unwelcome side effect. Train your mind toward that which uplifts. Meditate on hope-giving verses. This is imperative if you want to get better. You may need God’s help those times you are weak and weary.

Life is complicated, but God is good. He is our helper in times of trouble. He lifts us up when we are down. All through the night, His love is our anchor. Our hope is in Him alone.

When a Crisis of Faith Does Good

Faith in Crisis

A crisis of faith gets your attention. The believer hits a brick wall, a difficult time in their spiritual journey. His or her walk of faith is hard, the path unclear. An uneasy battle commences between the believer’s thoughts and feelings, beliefs and questions. Internal conflict wages. Doubt surfaces.

Uncertainty and angst interject in the daily. Fear and dread are a constant. A crisis of faith demands individuals take a look at their beliefs. They may say they’re done, and jump ship. Maybe after some deliberation, or maybe not. They may begin deconstructing their spiritual beliefs. They are figuring out what they will abandon or hold onto regarding their faith journey.

What is almost guaranteed is that the crisis of faith and what it does in their life changes them in their perceptions and understanding of matters of faith, the faith community, and God’s part in it all. The end result sees an altering in the person’s walk of faith. The crisis, when it comes, may be a private matter or it may be public. It may draw the person deeper in their faith, or it may be a dramatic exit from their Christian way of life.

A Crisis Shakes You

Will their faith survive? Will they continue on believing in God and the tenants of the faith, or are they, in fact, done, done? A crisis of faith can come from almost any direction, from both internal and external factors. Serious doubts about the faith community, in God, or His goodness often accompany the crisis.

Maybe it’s you, or it was you. You realize straddling the fence is not an option. You can’t play it like a game. You can’t pretend like your faith is something real when deep inside you’re questioning what you believe. Well, not for long, anyways. You can’t talk the talk and walk the walk if you are not positive your faith is legitimate.

Maybe that’s not it at all. Other set-backs which lead to crises of faith are more like explosions, and less like doubts. Something happens that shakes the person to the core. They might be hurt emotionally, wounded relationally, and frustrated spiritually. The crisis somehow upends them. They’re left reeling from the impact. There’s usually only one way through it: Hang on, go with it, and look for a place to land. No avoiding some things.

A Crisis Stops You

A battle that’s waging can be all over the map; One that’s not very pretty, but one that I would say is necessary to the faith journey. A crisis, one that is real and not an excuse to bail, navigates an unusual path. During the crisis of faith, some face a difficult, complicated situation loaded with fear, angst, anger, and even betrayal–only to find a new day has dawned in the process of dealing with it. Now they know God is enough in the deeper struggle, and that truth, indeed, set them free.

True faith continues to believe on some level even when the crisis comes. This faith expects God to intervene in the situation. Steadfast resolve determines to see the crisis through until answers are found. This requires their self to look at everything with critical discernment and with an air of detachment. They are wise to ask trusted friends to pray for them. We all need support during a crisis.

A Crisis Teaches You

Instead of faith demobilizing and ending in defeat, the person in crisis mode may discover a renewed vision. This comes as the crisis spends itself. God and His ways become clear in the process of devouring His Word, along with time spent searching for answers.

A true, honest, open-ended search for answers involves praying, crying out to God, reading, learning, listening, seeking. Talking with caring, strong people of faith is wise and productive. They have insights coupled with experience. Introspection and honest delving deeper reveals what has not been seen or understood before. For this person, the crisis, when passed, results in his or her spiritual walk revitalizing and becoming stronger.

Best of all, the crisis can open doors to enter into vital relationship with Christ. Peace at the center and sweet fellowship with God become a reality, delighting the soul, the icing on the cake. Father God has come so close that the person now knows the beauty of tender union as a beloved child of God.

A Crisis Brings Clarity

But that reality is not always the case. Some abandon their faith altogether. Their questions and doubts lead to unbelief, a denial of Christ as meaningful in their lives, and a distancing from Christianity. They walk away and leave it all behind, accompanied by bitter feelings. Some do a lot of blaming, bashing, and name-calling.

I hear their voices on social media. I read their stories across the web. Some are angry at those they used to fellowship with. Rightly or wrongly, I’m not privy to know. Some had ministries they’ve abandoned and books they’ve written that refute what they used to believe. The most notable but by no means the only is Joshua Harris of I Kissed Dating Goodbye fame.

A Crisis Provides an Opportunity

Strange as it may sound, I’m not angry with those whom have left the faith. I think they would rather be honest than fake. Some have disbelief and unbelief now. I truly am sad for them. I wish they had found Jesus to be their ‘enough,’ to be their real, personal Jesus. Jesus Christ cares so much for them. He died that they might live. I pray they will give Christ another glance, and that one day they will be restored to faith and full joy.

My own crises of faith have varied. They’ve not been about whether God exists. Mine have been caused by personal circumstances that overwhelmed to the point that my heart and being were negatively affected. Church shifts, problems, and situations have contributed to a crisis or two. The thing happens, the disconnect occurs, the emotions kick in, the examining begins, the thing is considered, a struggle ensues, a spiritual lesson is learned, the thing then aligns in my thinking. Crises of faith have brought about change in me in areas that benefited from them; even in how I view the Church at large.

This is about you. Don’t be afraid of a crisis of faith. Crises are quite common. Most Christians experience one or more in their walk of faith. A crisis of faith is harder than hard, and you feel all alone. A crisis of faith causes you to examine your faith, beliefs, and most importantly, your ‘why.’ A crisis draws you deeper. Though, if you aren’t prepared for it, serious doubt will try its best to topple you.

A crisis of faith actually frames an opportunity to strengthen your faith.

I wish you well on your spiritual journey. Remember, nothing is wasted in God’s kingdom. Everything has a purpose. Please pray for those who need a refreshing in their faith or a work of God in their lives. Thank you.

God bless you and keep you. May His face shine upon you.