God Comes In. . .
It breaks my heart when a person unloads a bushel of injustices and pain-filled experiences on me, and then sobs as she says, “I just want to be loved.” I remember feeling that way. I was the one thinking I just want to be loved. In my case it wasn’t really true. It just felt that way.
Don’t we all just want to be loved?
He was only a boy but all he knew from his parents was pain and rejection. Even worse, they were cruel to him. Their participation in Satanic ritual colored their treatment of him. He was packing heat at an early age to protect himself from his parents. He knew little kindness as a child.
How do you make sense of something like that?
I became his friend in a roundabout way. We both participated in a writing community. I came to admire and respect him in a phenomenal way. His breadth of knowledge was unsurpassed by any in the group. He has a quick mind. He has risen above the circumstances of his life. He is rough around the edges and tough in many respects. Yet he has learned to love. He makes it his mission to encourage people. God has helped him overcome.
One day he shared with me the horribleness of his childhood. He had not the benefit of nurture or love. It is not surprising that he loves dogs that have been abandoned and provides a home for many of them. The dogs are left in the high desert sands to die. He rescues them and gives them safe haven. Some have been wounded and abused. He loves them all.
No one should be or feel unwanted.
But they do. We do too, at times. Unfortunately, some have known such a life. Their needs went unmet. Their persona has been partially shaped by put-downs and sarcasm. Their self-worth as a human is shaky.
As you read this your heart may be beating fast. You may have a headache that won’t go away, and your thoughts are taking you down a rabbit trail to an event(s) in your past. Maybe you were embarrassed, humiliated or were mistreated. You know you have unmet needs and unhealed hurts. You push their memory into your secret archive of past injustices.
Invasion of a soul is not a pretty thing.
You know, it takes courage to overcome devastation. It takes bravery to face the pain of your past. You have to persevere, and it’s a hard thing to do. You know there is love in this world. You are given the task of finding it. But it’s so hard and possibly you don’t know how to love purely, without self-centeredness causing problems.
All of us have unmet needs. Some needs are more severe than other ones. If you tend to be negative in your thoughts, this indicates that there is something that needs addressing (I know about this!). Unmet needs signify that there’s a lack within you, like a hole that needs filling.
That hole is in your soul. You’re going to need some help to heal.
Your past is impacted by the present. God is a gracious God. He is willing and able to show you your need and then give you the tools to mend and repair your soul. Let God in. Let the bad stuff go. Allow God to heal what needs healing. It can happen. You can become healthy and whole. It’s a process of many steps (and you may need some help).
Never lose sight of God’s willingness to help you. You may come to your darkest hour but “God is on the bathroom floor” (Nightbirde). He meets you there.
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- God loves you.
- He promises to help you.
- Call out to Him.
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Come to Jesus.
Write down your needs that weren’t and aren’t being met. Ask God to repair your emotional injuries. Ask Him to show you what you need to become a whole and an emotionally healthy individual. Seek answers, spiritual answers to your person-specific problems.
Overcoming takes time. This journey takes a sifting through your past with an eye to the future. Imagine Jesus walking with you as you face whatever that holds you back.
I have found that the more that I heal, the more free I become. It’s like the monkey is off my back. It allows space to free up what was walled off by my damaged emotions.
This is a continuous journey. Persevere through. Keep learning, listening, and waiting. God is not finished with you yet.
We are in this together.
I have learned that you don’t have to live life with a dead spot in your soul. Have you noticed how hurting people often hurt others. What’s deep inside comes out in our closest relationships. Do it for others if not for yourself. Holding onto grievances is in this camp, too. Harbored resentment and bitterness deadens us inside. Let them go. They aren’t healthy for your soul.
The good news is that we don’t have to battle it alone. You can’t do it in your own strength anyway. God is only a prayer away. He sees the intentions of our hearts. He picks us up when we stumble. He applauds our effort. He surrounds us with His love, even when we don’t feel it.
I’m so glad there’s hope. I’m so glad God saves and redeems. I’m so thankful I don’t have to do it in my own strength. I’m grateful Jesus is walking with me. I praise Him for His abundant mercies that are never exhausted.
Embrace your spiritual journey.
