My posts are highlighting ways God draws us to Himself. So far I have touched on 1) God calls us to Himself. 2) Salvation is found in God through Christ. Today the topic takes us in another direction. 3)  Discovering God in personal awareness. Discovering God in a personal way is an emotional, spiritual, and intellectual turning to God for deeper meaning and understanding of one’s relationship of self to God. It is also a response to an awakening in one’s soul to a caring God.

I have shared my personal time of dedication in an earlier post, when at sixteen I gave my life to Christ. In this post I will share another true story, how I remember it from when it was told to me. This is an abbreviated version.

The story starts with a confused boy.

The boy was tenderhearted and spunky but very shy. A physical condition not readily identified and not diagnosed until late elementary school made accessing an education more difficult than for some. Teachers knew he was smart but they didn’t know why he wasn’t attending to instructions. When testing confirmed an auditory processing disorder, he said, “So I’m not stupid after all.” His self-concept improved as a result of the diagnosis. As a young child, he made a decision to put his faith in Christ while his mother prayed with him.

During his fifth grade school year, his Christian parents divorced. This put him in a tailspin. He became moody and distant; gone was his light and happiness. He felt neglected by his parents; his mother was dealing with her own pain and was less available to him.

He felt his needs were not being met; and they weren’t being met.

When the young man entered his teens, he became resentful, sullen. Pain began to mount and by high school, his struggles and his hurt were influencing him. The teenage boy became depressed but managed. He started hanging out with peers who weren’t the best for him, but he also overcame some of his shyness. His anger was surfacing more often and his relationship with his mother deteriorated. He was misunderstood by those he needed most, including her. He spent a few months at a Christian university, but his depression worsened while there. He would stay in his room, only going out for meals. No one seemed to notice his absence. A counselor at the university was helpful, but his education was a waste. Lost in the darkness of despondency, he no longer attended classes.

His mother was worried.

This young man landed a job that was quite physical and labor intensive in the agriculture industry. The conditions were not the best. The job was stressful and the way he was treated by the foreman made him feel demeaned. It was hard to do his job with the cloud of depressing thoughts, which complicated matters.

Old friendships were starting to implode.

He had a falling out with a long time friend and others. That hurt. He felt like his world was spinning out of control. Hopeless. The young man was worried about himself, that he might begin to make wrong choices that would be harmful and leave a lasting impact on him. Anger was building and life seemed to be closing in on him.

In despair one day, he picked up his bible and it flopped open.

The bible opened to Psalm 142. He began to read. For the first time in months, or years, he began to feel a smidgen of hope. The psalmist’s words were for him. The ache in his being matched the emotion of the psalm.

I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.

I pour out before him my complaint; before him I tell my trouble.

When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way. In the path where I walk people have hidden a snare for me.

Look and see, there is no one at my right hand; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life.

I cry to you, LORD; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.”

Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me.

Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.

The words spoke to his deep need.

A spark kindled. The reading of Psalm 142 marked the first step on his way back to God. Nothing changed outwardly, he didn’t go back to church or anything like that, but he sensed that God was real and God was with him. A couple of years later, in another state, he was in church one evening. While the speaker was sharing words of truth to an audience of young men and women, the young man’s heart and thoughts were drawn to the words of the speaker.

He began to weep.

His past, sins, and his hurt were parading through his mind. A deep sorrow overwhelmed him. Emotion came to the surface. He told me that he could barely stop weeping long enough to drive back to his living quarters. It felt as if he could go to the depths in his sadness with no bottom in sight.

In his sorrowing heart there was an opportunity for life.

Through the soft way God ministered to this young man, he was being changed and healed through the mercy and love of God. Another extension of this was from a book his grandmother had given him, God Loves You, by Dr. David Jeremiah. Through the message in this book about God’s love, he began to believe he was loved by God … and that God was a loving God. The knowledge of God’s love in a personal way was meaningful and further encouraged his spiritual awakening.

For several months this young man was on a spiritual quest. He spent time seeking God, reading, thinking, pondering truths of God. He was hungry for what God offered him. Ever since those days of spiritual healing, renewal, and transformation, this young man has lived differently. He is active in his faith,  has become part of a church family, and is a changed person. God loved him. He loved God back. He is not the same as he was before.

His faith is real to him.

The first time I saw this young man after his inner transformation, it was remarkable to me. His face looked different. I was surprised. The darkness of depression, the sad puppy look, had lifted and his countenance looked lighter and free. His eyes were clear and bright. Hands down, his level of change was remarkable. However, that was not when he told me his story, which came a few years later during a one-on-one conversation after he said to me, “I’ve never told you my testimony have I?”

And that is when I heard–the rest of the story.

Through his story, I would like you to note two particulars. First, the young man sorrowed for his sins and repented of them. This was emotional for it went all the way in, clear to his heart. His heart’s condition was a mess. His emotions were damaged. He needed God to help him. That is where change is initiated. Second, the young man became willing and open to receive God’s forgiveness, love, and transforming life. He no longer resisted.

He wanted what God had to offer him.

I think the emotional component is proof that this was real. The changed life is proof that there was an inner transformation. His continuing on in his faith, following God, making changes in his life and serving the Lord, are additional proofs of God’s tender working in His life. Evidence. Validation. Real change and lasting change comes when deep repentance and sorrowing is experienced, and when giving and yielding to God is desired.

This is a significant step in following God.

♥♥♥

My friend,

I may not know you but I do know this about you. You are dearly loved. God loves you. He very much wants to be a part of your life. You are the reason He sent Jesus, His Son, into the world that through Jesus Christ’s death, burial and resurrection, you may have forgiveness, hope, and life eternal. Trust in God and in Jesus’ love. You will not regret it. The love God has for you is real. He wishes you to have enough faith in him to believe in his everlasting love. Read John 3 in the bible to learn more of the gift of salvation Christ offers to you. Please leave me a message in the contact box if I may assist or encourage you.

God bless you,

Norma