Norma L. Brumbaugh

Peace at the Center

Written on a Sunday morning, at an earlier time.

Have you a heartache?

I do.

It happened four days ago, and I’m not over it yet. But I’m trying. One other person is involved and took the major hit more than I. It happened so fast that it was all over and done before the thing could be stopped. I was stunned, shocked, and fully impacted. So much so that my thinking went fuzzy.

But something good happened too, today, and that’s why I’m writing a post about it.

You’re never quite prepared for the unpleasant thing when it happens, just saying. It is easy to blame when you’re hurting. Now I can see that a lack of communication and lack of understanding were more at fault than anything else. And missteps were made by more than one person. That being said, the emotional and spiritual side of things will be shared to get to my problem and the way God saw fit to answer it.

The other person’s immediate response to the unsettling event was merciful, kind, and loving. The disappointing circumstance was accepted without complaint or bitterness. As the two of us commiserated with tears flowing the next day, the other person’s response was with an open heart, a pure visage, a belief in the honorable way, with love and acceptance, and with a humility that is rarely seen.

This reaction amazed me. I felt ashamed of my less than noble reaction. The following day I realized that I’d seen Christ in the other person’s unselfish, kindly acceptance of what had happened.

Pain and Struggle

For me, relief would not come. I was devastated, thought it unfair, felt betrayed, disappointed, and I felt the other person was treated with disregard, that kind of self-pitying, reactive thinking. Pain removed my smile and awakened in me an unvoiced numbing discouragement.

Bleak thoughts courted my waking hours. My writing fell silent. It felt as if I couldn’t do it anymore. I wanted to quit. All I saw were walls, defeat, not gateways or opportunities. Grief beset me. Bitter thoughts hammered away at me. No. No. No. Go away. I beat them back, only for them to return like miserable company.

I asked God for a thought to help me handle this disappointment in a godly way, in His way, for Him to help me let go of the disappointment and heartache. Nothing came. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Four days and still nothing but sick at heart. How this was affecting me was shocking to me. I thought I was stronger than that.

I prayed through my tears. I encouraged the other person’s faith, trying to put a good face on it, while bathed in a flood of my own sad thoughts. I decided to bear up alone for I knew I must accept this misfortune without involving any of my friends or relatives.

This too will pass. I knew I could not bear to languish in regret’s melancholy embrace very long without it robbing me of my soul’s joy in the Lord. One has to practice what one preaches, right?

Peace Enters

This morning, when pain revisited my waking thoughts, the phrase ‘Peace at the Center’ also entered. Peace at the Center is an old Quaker saying, one I have appreciated and repeated during many a woe. Peace at the Center is a phrase to cling to when you are in distress and also when you are not in distress. Just the saying of it can soften the edges of a stressed condition with a gentle sense of peace.

You can secure peace at the center when you choose to seek it and rest in it. Peace at the Center can chase away bad thoughts, similar to how “In Christ” you can find the strength to go through the time of difficulty.

God helps us absorb peace in the core of our being. You encourage beauty in that sentiment, in its words, in the strength of God being with you–come whatever may come. My thoughts still go to the source of my pain where an element of distress remains, but God’s peace through Peace at the Center brings immediate relief. In the saying of it, “peace at the center,” a sigh then uplifts, relaxes, and bears me up.

For All of Us

Misfortunes happen. Life hurts us and causes pain to our loved ones. Circumstances befuddle and confuse. Dreams die a painful death. We lose what is dear to us, think we get the short end of the stick, realize we are not quite so secure as we thought.

You try to make sense of what happened by looking at what is true. Then you allow the truth to set you free. Grace gives its abundance as you work it through until relief comes in and sorrow wanes.

Peace at the Center is a gift. No one has to bear their sorrows alone. God is with us. He is peace on earth, good will to men–to all, to you, to my dear ones, to your dear ones, to me. I cannot live without Him, without His peace. God is my life. He is my hope.

“Peace at the Center.”

To God be the Glory

How We Hate to Fail

Disappointments caused by failures, misunderstandings, or calamities can hurt like the dickens. Sometimes pain drives all the way deep inside and causes injury to the emotions. Its ugliness is something dark, harsh, and tangible. I don’t think anyone is ever quite prepared for the disappointments that come their way.

Reactive in the presence of injured emotions, they may experience a variety of sensations: tears, anger, depressed feelings, overwhelming tiredness, shattered nerves, sleeplessness, stomachaches, or whatever. They may seek to remedy their distress with some sort of comfort, like binge talking, drinking, eating, shopping, electronic entertainment, or you name it, their go-to thing.

No one likes to fail, but fail we do. To fail is to be human. Along with any failure comes the above mentioned disappointment. That ‘let down’ feeling can ruin days, weeks, months, and sometimes, if it is of major consequence, it can follow them through many a year or even a lifetime.

One of my peers in high school was a cute silken-haired young lady who was part of the ‘in’ crowd. She frequently vocalized her aspirations for becoming a varsity cheerleader, and said with a confident air. I assumed it would happen for her. In the spring of our junior year after the competition when the votes were tallied for the next year’s varsity cheerleaders, she wasn’t one of them. Shocking stuff. Probably, I was almost as surprised as she was. It had seemed a slam dunk. I imagine she was crushed.

Most of our failures and disappointments aren’t quite so noticeable, unless you’re running for public office. Employment-related incidents where a person is overlooked or not chosen for the position they’ve expected is an unpleasant go. The person has angry questions about why they didn’t get it, and they are likely to make judgments about the upset. When it seems or is unjust and unfair, bitterness and resentments may take root and build. That is not any fun, to say the least.

When It’s Our Fault

When it is your fault and it is you who caused the failure to happen, then it is you who gets to choose how you will feel about it. This can take many forms. You can blame others (scapegoating) or you can blame the circumstances (it’s not your fault) or you can accept or ignore the injustice you’ve done (Ok, I wonder what’s next), or you take ownership (address your part in it). Any of those choices are the consequence of the failure. A healthy outlook can look at the issue with an eye to learning and growing, improving and moving forward.

You can make that kind of healthy choice, one that brings health and well-being where you need it. Deep inside the real you is a need to be recognized and appreciated by others. Comparisons and your reactions to disappointments can knock you down and make you feel less-than and not fully appreciated. The tendency to react as a result may allow for aggression, distancing, vengeance and all manner of negative behaviors.

When It’s Their Fault

When you’ve been wronged in some way, it is important to handle it in a constructive manner. How we take it, to take it well, will take acknowledgment and prayer. It is smart to ask God for the best words and right attitude. Praying adds strength, courage, and wisdom and minimizes blame, accusation, and angry expressions. Sort through the cause and effect and come at it from your and the others’ involved, perspectives.

When your ‘own’ stuff crowds in, when you take the offense personally (because it’s unjust), and you can’t quite get over it, this provides an excellent opportunity to look at the incident with a critical eye. Look at it with care. What is true? What is not true? How can you deal with it in a healthy, non-accusatory manner? Have you given it to God and released the outcome to Him? Do you need to address it for the benefit of the other person, for their knowledge, understanding, and growth? What should you do? What must you do?

How to Flip Failure on Its Head

How we view ourselves during a disappointment or failure is extremely important and a real part of this conversation. I think the self-perceived, inferior, self-status this fuels in one’s interior self is a need in us to be acknowledged, treated fairly, and to be appreciated. But, do people really care? Ethel Barrett says it this way, “We would worry less about what others think of us, if we realized how seldom they do.” She goes on to say, “Humanly speaking, the easiest person to fool is one’s self.” She hits the nail on the head. That means, it is up to the wounded person to deal with it. Any individual can take a failure, disappointment, or mistake and make it into a positive. Undoubtedly, this takes courage and a willing-to-go-there mindset.

Anyone can re-order their thinking. The power rests with them. God will help you if you ask Him too. Remember the prophet Elijah? Elijah, after a tremendous victory over the prophets of Baal at Mt. Carmel when God sent fire from heaven to devour the water, stone, and sacrifice, Elijah took to running for his life when threatened with death by wicked Queen Jezebel. Mountaintop to valley floor, he plunged into defeating fear and lived in desperate despair. God saw Elijah’s weakness while he flailed in the storm of life, and He ministered to him. Elijah listened to God’s voice and then trusted Him to take care of his needs.

You, as God’s child, serve this same God. He protects and ministers to needs. He restores broken people and heals their wounded hearts. God gives a mission and becomes their adequacy to accomplish it. He’s all that. God takes a defeat and makes it a cause for celebration. Chuck Colson did this, from prison to developing a prison ministry and becoming a leading Christian voice. Joni Eareckson Tada did this, from quadriplegia to representative voice for the physically challenged and marginalized. Joni and Friends is listened to world-wide. Their life-giving passions rose from negative defining experiences.

Give it to God, whatever it is. Listen for His whisper. Draw strength from Him. Yes.

Trust God for the journey.

CONNECTING WITH GOD IN EVERYDAY LIFE