The Pain of Rejection, When Your Mate Leaves You

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A Hope and A Promise

He will be with you, he will not leave you or forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:8

Rejection has the power to spew injurious messages inside the wounded person. When a marriage is ripped apart, negative emotions can ravage the mind’s sensitivities. It can leave a person gasping, struggling to make sense of what happened. Divorce smashes the dream that once shone so brightly and leaves destruction in its wake.

There are many ways to absorb these internal hurts. Some bury their feelings. Others unleash volleys of red-hot attacks. Some become overwhelmed by loss and grief. Others walk away in denial, never looking back.

Unwelcome intruders jump on the emotional bandwagon. Resentment and bitterness visit in the quiet hours. Anger and spite seek payback with a vindictiveness that sabotages efforts at joy and happiness. Sorrow and sadness become a cloak of gloom that is difficult to lift. Depression and discouragement may rob children of the home they once had that is now just a wistful dream. It is hard. The devastation of divorce will have repercussions and outfall. What to do?

You are stronger than you think. It is not hopeless even when it may seem so. For you see, it is not the end of the story. Life goes on. The person must go on with it. Once the shock wears off and pain is managed, then it becomes possible to learn, change, and grow. It takes time, patience, and hard work to recover from injured self-perceptions and personal loss before one is able to live again.

We are not alone. God strengthens us when we feel weak. He holds us when we are weary. He guides us when we are confused, struggling with our present and fearful of our future. Our heavenly Father promises to never leave us even when the alone-ness seems almost unbearable. He is true and steady. Gentle is His healing balm and loving grace. God is here and He is with you.

Dear Father God, you are my comfort and peace, an ever present help in times of trouble. I’m so glad.

N. L. Brumbaugh, Chico, California

My 10 Favorite Writing & Publishing Experts (thus far)

Writers have to Start Somewhere. Resources Matter a Great Deal

Writing e-blogs and e-sources abound. A writer must begin to differentiate between the various writing and publishing bloggers and businesses.  I began to acquaint myself with who offers what. Here is what I do. I look for quality and practical use and excellence in content and services. I receive these posts in my email inbox as a way to keep me current and for ease-ablity .  I follow blogs I enjoy because of what they offer me: the writer’s style, topics, and goodies they offer that I can purchase to use in my own writing.  It is in my best interest to peruse these blogs because they offer me substantial information that will keep me on track as a writer. I don’t want to waste my time on rabbit trails. It also helps me with efficient use of time.

My Ten Favorite Writing & Publishing Experts:

  1. Rachelle Gardner, Literary Agent at Books &Such–blogs about books, Author, How Do I Decide? Self-Publishing vs. Traditional Publishing (A Field Guide for Authors). www.rachellegardner.comAll about writing well, due diligence, and writing conundrums, some content specific to Christian genre
  2. Joel Friedlander,The Book Designerpractical advice to help Self-Publishers build better books, www.thebookdesigner.com,All about format, design, and implementation of excellence in book creation, development, & marketing. Author,  A Self-Publisher’s Companion. He has longevity in the book designing field (he knows what is most likely to sell)
  3. Shelley Hitz & Heather HartThe Writing Coach–training Authors for Success, self-publishing coaches and authors, www.selfpublishing coach, www.trainingauthors.com, www.BodyandSoulPublishing.com About training authors for success, self-publishing and book marketing know-how, leans toward Christian genre. Author, Self-Publishing Books 101: A Step-by-Step Guide to Publishing Your Book in Multiple Formats
  4. Michael Hyatt, Intentional Leadershipleading with purpose, personal productivity, book publishing,and social media. Bestselling Author  Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World, www.michaelhyatt.com All about platform building i.e. personal development, leadership, productivity, platform, and publishing. He has a wide variety of topics and longevity in the author/writing field.
  5. D’Vorah Lansky, Marketing Wizardbook marketing made easy, www.bookmarketingmadeeasy.com, Bestselling Author, “Book Marketing Made Easy” & Book Marketing Made Easy: Simple Strategies for Selling Your Nonfiction Book Online and 21 Ways to Launch a Successful Virtual Book TourAll about building a business with your book(s) by using effective marketing strategies
  6. Dr. Jeanette Cates, Internet Strategist for Small Business, small business strategist, www.jeanettecates.com, Author, Sell More Books As A Teleseminar Guest: Marketing Your Book 60 Minutes At A Time and several more books on book marketing and online business.
  7. Jeff Goins, On Writing, Ideas, and Making a Difference, blogger, speaker, and author, You Are a Writer (So Start Acting Like One)  www.goinswriter.com
  8. Mary DeMuth, Live Uncaged Christian speaker, author, and writing coach, www.marydemuth.com, Author,  Spiritual books–The Wall Around Your Heart: How Jesus Heals You When Others Hurt You and  Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing after Sexual Abuse and many more books
  9. Dan O’Brien, Amalgam Consultinglocal author and entrepreneur, Northern California literary and publishing consulting business at http://amalgamconsulting.com/, www.thedanobrienproject.blogspot.com/ Author, Publish Your Dreams and many more books.
  10. Deb Brammer, Discover New WorldsChristian writer, author, missionary, and blogger (with tips for writers), www.debbrammer.com, Author, nonfiction Edges of Truth: The Mary Weaver Story and other spiritual books and writings.

Writing business blogs (I consistently read) will have specific components and commonalities:

  1. Blogs will contain current information that serve my writing interests
  2. Blogs will offer quality writing materials or services for the novice writer and author packaged in a user-friendly format
  3. Bloggers will share their expertise to teach what will improve your business while also highlighting pitfalls to avoid
  4. Bloggers who create interest through on-going mobility with exposure to new trends, ideas, and writing solutions
  5. Bloggers who respect other people in the writing field and give credit where credit is due