Monthly Archives: April 2014

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On a Spiritual Quest: Holy Week Reflection

image(1)It is a week of quiet commemoration for those who hold the truths of Holy Scripture dear. I see in myself a growing, longing, desiring, of sacred things that speak of God. Of all the stories found in time and eternity, the story of redemption through Jesus Christ tops them all. I have grown to adore Jesus Christ. He is the fulfillment of all that a person could want in another person and all that a person could want in a God. The God-Man was just that, human enough to understand the frailty of man, human enough to make it real to us, God enough to provide the perfect sacrifice, God enough to bring the human into a right relationship with God.

A confession: When I wrote my book, I was recovering from a lost relationship in which I had caused pain and also had received pain. It was a thoughtful time for me, one of sorrow and sadness. Understanding pain was nothing new for me. But this time I felt a piercing deep in my spirit. Confusion in the relationship centered on our Christian beliefs, strangely enough, which we both held with high regard. He was active in a liturgical church, I was active in a protestant church. Doubts had cluttered my ability to think clearly. I was afraid of our differences, letting fear become my undoing. I couldn’t quite make the leap, to embrace what was foreign to me–although it was never asked of me to do so. After the breakup, I found myself still curious. I had tasted just enough of the liturgical forms of worship to want to know more.  I began reading beyond the scope of my background. A door had opened that I could not shut. The more I read, the more I wanted. I was thirsty. I found much richness in that of which I read. Those people of faith, saints and martyrs, loved and adored the same God that I love and adore. Reading their thoughts was like eating a rich dessert, the delightful and delicate part of the meal.

A positive result: In the end, my viewpoint altered. I had been afraid of something I did not understand. Assumptions had been made by me that were not true. My thoughts were purified and enlightened. The more I sought to know, the more I came to know. I found I could fellowship with people of the faith with whom I differed in some areas. What united me to them was our beliefs concerning God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, and the plan of salvation for humankind. It is Christ who frees us from our bondage and enslavement. He sets us  free to live full lives of love,  grace, and truth.

Because it is Holy Week, and because I am going to church services that commemorate Christ’s Last Supper, death, and resurrection, I want to do my part in sharing some of what I have learned. I would encourage you to visit another church than your own sometime this week. You may find that God will speak to your soul in a new way. That’s a good thing. Don’t be afraid of it. Ask God to speak to you. That is what I used to do before I developed an appreciation for another form of worship. To end this writing, I want to share with you text from my book that touches on the subject of this blog. I want to draw you to the Savior, the Lamb of God who came to pardon our sins and offer us a new identity. His identity. Open your eyes to see, your ears to hear, your heart to love, and your mind to truth.

my bookTHE MEETING PLACE: Book quotes are from pages 181-184

“I found myself on a spiritual quest, seeking a new direction, searching for truth and understanding beyond my strongly held Protestant beliefs and scriptural interpretation of bible doctrines. I began to read some of the saints and mystics from the Middle Ages and more recent writers of Christian thought from the early and mid-1900s including several women from the 1800s and 1900s; Protestant, Anglican, and Catholic in breadth. A hunger grew in me for more of God in personal unity of “relationship.” I began to read life stories and expressions written by people who knew God, not just about God. I could identify with many of these various writers, their words ringing true in my thinking. Some of what they recorded I could have written; the tone was the same with a warmth of expression one finds in the writings of people who love God. Their words addressed what had been closed and unmined prior to my exposure to their vibrancy. One can find the heart of the person by what they say or the affective filter of their collective works. I no longer was looking so much at their theological positions but more at their statements regarding God and his influence, his outworking in their lives. As a result of this, my quest of which I am still on, my outlook changed immensely even though my interpretation of scripture remained much the same. I began to see with new eyes. This was a powerful gift God gave me during this period of dryness in my spiritual life, my “dark night of the soul.” In addition to my walk with God, this has particularly and significantly contributed to the inward changes in my person. I will never be the same, and that’s an understatement. It has fundamentally altered me in how I think and how I approach the Christian faith and also the family of believers. I have become less rigid and more kind, less certain but more open, less opinionated and more loving. It is a spiritual journey outside the box of religious convention and limited parameters, yet not one of compromise or the forsaking of biblical truth. My belief in the fundamentals of the faith and personal salvation through Jesus Christ remain firmly in place. More of God and less of me. Praise the Lord.

“However, the problem still remained. It has never been easy for me to accept change or address friction in personal interactions, or to “let go” when their time has ended. While I traveled this darkened spiritual path, most every waking moment I experienced a constant troubling in my thoughts and spirit, like something unsettled and not quite right, out of focus and gray. As much as I tried, I could not remove its thorn from my heart nor find inner peace. Because of its persistence and presence, it was difficult to deal with the many responsibilities on my plate. The sorrow and the aloneness were strong, taking with them my energy and free spirit. My months of visits at the meeting place helped resolve some of its pain, but nothing could completely remove its sorrow. Slowly over time, I regained my footing with God and returned to my “sweet place” of receiving grace and love from his abundant mercy. One morning a year or so later, while I was getting ready for church, I sensed God’s voice telling me what the real trouble had been, my part in the problem. It seemed as if God was explaining to me that when I had voiced my concerns by stating my doubts, they originated in my uncertainty and need for security, and in the doing of it, I had failed to trust him when I could not see the way. I had failed the test.  . . .

“I have learned much though in my search for understanding and truth. People of many denominations and religious affiliations worship the same God—in spirit and in truth. Only God knows an individual’s true heart and in whom or what they base their faith. It is belief in Christ where one finds truth; it is the one uniting truth that crosses religious boundaries or constraints and brings the universal church of God together in harmony and freedom. One can keep their biblical stance and interpretation, religious formalities, beliefs, and doctrinal positions—without compromise and still have the capacity to extend love, grace, and acceptance to sisters and brothers across the aisle, who have this same love of God in their hearts, who believe in Christ as Lord and Savior. But there’s the rub; we don’t always know who does and who doesn’t have genuine faith. Be loving anyway. How freeing this is to know and believe that God calls us to be faithful to the vision, the central truth of Christ’s Life, which he has given to each one of us as his children.”

GOD BLESS YOU,

Norma

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Need Help? Don’t despair. Someone will Help You.

blog, helpToday I put the word “help” in the search bar. What did I get? What do you think I got? A list of “help” services came up that one can click on and receive directions to address just what you need. We all need help once in awhile. Sometimes we need a lot of help. We can even be desperate for help.

The first time I used a computer was around 1993, rather late in the game. I was half scared to use it. I took a class at the local community college, an introduction to computers’ class. During the same time frame, my cousin’s husband gave me a used Macintosh computer, one of those tiny units with a small screen (that later ended up being doorstops). He added ClarisWorks on it and I was good to go. He also added on Tetris and a couple of other simple games, like a helicopter that dropped water bombs or something like that, that the kids loved. It’s what I learned on and wrote many documents on once I learned how to operate it. It had a printer that would take paper with holes on both sides where they were connected together flat in a box,  the sheets were perforated to tear them apart. You may remember using that kind of printer. It was very common in those days. It was a great tool to learn on. I grew very fond of ClarisWorks. It was easy to use.

At first, I didn’t know what I was doing. At all!

We had computer lab time at the college. Come when you will during certain hours. The lab was always jam-packed students, my time was limited (four kids at home). I sat at a computer. Stumped. I didn’t know how to direct the cursor, or move between A, B, and C drives. I didn’t even know how to “boot” up the computer or even what that term meant. I didn’t know how to show “invisibles” and “formulas” both required for the class assignments. A man in his early thirties noticed my confusion, I think I asked him one or two questions. He started to help me. He was kind …. and patient. He sort of chuckled at my hesitation and lack of understanding. I was afraid to touch anything on the keyboard for fear of going to the wrong place. I remember in class, when the instructor talked about fonts, I didn’t know what a font was, but wisely, kept that to myself. From that point on, the young man would always help me out, we’d arrange what time I was going to be at the lab, and then he would meet me there. He was a veteran taking classes. I don’t know how I’d have made it without his assistance. I was always too quiet for my own good.

When I put in the word “help” in the search bar this morning, I actually was thinking about people who need spiritual or emotional help, who need help because they’re desperate, discouraged, suicidal, or closing in on despair. People need help. I need help. You need help. We’re not invincible. We need to make ourselves available to one another. Sometimes, just a word or a smile can improve the day, give hope for your life to turn around. There have been a couple of experiences in my life when a few words said to me in kindness met my inner need, helping me not feel so alone or sad. We need to be valued and appreciated. All of us do. We need approval and validation, love and care.

If you need some help, feel discouraged, are alone, there are people like me who want to tell you that you matter, that you’re not any trouble, that there is always another day, a brighter future. Some of us have lived the words that we say. We are proof that there are better days ahead. Morning has broken. There is always hope. You matter. Help? There is help available. You may have to look for it, do the hard work, but someone or some program will help you out, just like that young man took it upon himself to help me out.