I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. Philippians 4:7 NIV

We can’t give what we don’t have inside of us. Go and get what you don’t have and then make it work for you.

One day I was reading in my daily bible reading when I came to the verse “God loves a cheerful giver.” The verse was familiar to me as a verse related to the concept of tithing. My thoughts slid right over it and continued when suddenly my thoughts hit, “Stop.” I backed up to focus my attention on those five words, God loves a cheerful giver. Cheerful. Whoa, Nelly. What if I were to try to be cheerful in giving, in perspective? I started imagining what it would be like if I were to become a cheerful giver in different aspects in my life, how it would play out. Would it free me from being a hoarder of my time, finances, resources, and talents? In the past, I’ve had a problem with negativity. I reasoned, if I become “cheerful” in what I do, then it will not be possible to be “negative” in my thinking or talking.  Right then and there I decided to become a cheerful giver as much as possible.  This simple step has altered my perspective and proven to be most helpful.

The way a Christian lives out their Christianity reveals a lot about the person’s depth of commitment to their faith. But it is not always as it seems. If there is a lack of joy, if there is despair, if there is anger, touchiness, frustration, superior attitudes, or rigidity present in their lives on a regular basis, then something doesn’t quite square. It helps to pause and take a deeper look at the matter.

There must be a reason. It is interesting to see how much a person’s way of life functions in the external realm, what comes out of their mouths, the way they use their money, their prejudices and passions, all of the things that give evidence of who they are or who they are not in Christ. There is a contradiction at work when people’s spiritual “fruit” is lacking in character and substance or when it seems scripted (outward conformity) and not fresh (inward flowing).

Many Christians “settle” for much less than is God’s loving intention for them. For example, Christians are comfortable with complaining, choosing to see life with a “less than,” a negative perception. This derails their ability to be content in all things. Most Christians don’t see this in themselves and don’t see it as a spiritual problem. They’re comfortable, too comfortable and satisfied, too satisfied.

First, we must realize that a lack of contentment is a “spiritual problem.” Why? It originates with our eyes on self. We must ask ourselves, what derails me, us? We wonder if it is actually possible to be content in all things. How do we do that? The thought is perplexing.

Contentment almost seems at cross-purposes with real life. But is it? We call life a “rat race” because it is crazy strange and decidedly complicated. Just when we think we’ve got a handle on it something else pops up. This can make us jaded. For the Christian, we are called to a higher calling. The apostle Paul didn’t have it so good. He went from being a persecutor of the brethren to being the persecuted for Christ. His résumé reads something like this.

Paul, A Servant of Jesus Christ 
Mission: Co-sufferer with Christ
Occupation: Messenger, Preacher, Writer, Speaker, Missionary, Educated in Hebrew school, Former Pharisee, Christ-follower, Church planter, Traveler, Miracle doer, Church builder.
Experience: Beaten, stoned, persecuted, left for dead, falsely accused, imprisoned, shipwrecked, prison letter writer, labeled a trouble maker and disturber of the peace, constant encourager, preacher of truth.

If anyone had a right to complain, it was the apostle Paul. He was mistreated, judged, arrested, under house arrest, and condemned. He experienced other forms of suffering for the cause of Christ. Yet he says, “I have learned to be content in all circumstances.” How utterly amazing.

The spiritual life is the sum of many parts that co-mingle into one spiritual being: The parts overlap: our lives, what we do, plus supernatural assistance, what God does. The spiritual life is not “one size fits all.” It is individualized, and it takes effort and sustainability. God is our partner in this venture.

There are ways to re-mediate this problem of discontent. I believe it starts with an awareness, what is understood then experienced, by becoming aware of that which promotes and encourages positive thinking and behaviors and that which causes or sustains negative thinking and behaviors. The balance of the scales will tip toward that which we feed the most.

We must remove from our daily lives those things, actions, and attitudes which provoke us to being discontent. In addition, we must embrace those things, actions, and attitudes which empower us to have an attitude of contentment. God must be allowed and invited to participate in this. He will facilitate this inner change as its perspective evolves into one of spiritual renewal.

As a Christian, it is essential to incorporate that which promotes spiritual health and increases our level of contentment. We can do it, with God’s help. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” We must determine to embrace those things which empower an attitude of contentment within us.

DETERMINE TO BE CONTENT:
Incorporate that which encourages contentment to grow.

• Determine to keep your eyes focused on Jesus. He is the Source, Power, and Helper, and He guides us as we seek a better and new way of purposed, pure spiritual living.
• Determine to seek to be healthy in heart, mind, and soul. Look for ways to be whole in body, soul and spirit.
• Determine to look on the bright side. This is a daily choice. Incorporate processes to help make this happen.
  
• Determine to not react to situations and people. Be rational, calm, and dispassionate. People will respond better and you will get further in your communications. When problems happen, ask yourself, “What can I do about this?” or “What can I learn from this?” instead of panicking or blaming. Avoid statements that begin with “You” (puts them on the defensive) and substitute “This is the way it affects me. . .”
  
• Determine to surround yourself with positive people. Hang close with people who walk with God.
• Determine to remove the whine of complaint from your daily talk. STOP COMPLAINING. Do we really have a right to complain?
  
• Determine to be differentiated. Sort out what happens by stating truth. What was my part? What was their part? What is true and is not true? This hurt me because ____.  I felt ______.
• Determine to look for ways to encourage others, even those we don’t like or who we have issues with. This is a form of loving God, and it promotes internal freedom. God calls us to love.
  
• Determine to be a cheerful giver; in the giving of your finances, time, resources, words and in all aspects of your life. Allow God full access and respond to His promptings. Stop being miserly or stingy with what, in reality, God, has first given to you.
• Determine to see yourself as God sees you. He sees you as accepted, special, uniquely created, and beloved. While you’re at it, quit comparing yourself to others (this habit causes discontent big-time).
  
• Determine to be gracious, to see others as God sees them. Extend grace to others. This simple but profound intentional act takes the pressure off. See them as who they can become “in Christ” and not as how they are living now or by the hurt they have caused you. Give them to God. Forgive them. Release the bitterness and resentments you’ve carried. Ask God to help you do this. This is when you ask God to release you from the bondage that the offending unforgiveness has created within you. It is freeing.
  
• Determine to ask God for wisdom and discernment. He will respond to your request.
  
• Determine to keep the door open to God. Listen for Him. Actively read His word.
  
• Determine to pay attention. When God “checks,” then stop. When He says, “go,” then go.
• Determine to seek God’s best. Don’t let up until you get it, especially when there is disagreement or confusion regarding a circumstance. God will confirm in His way. This is usually through Scripture, godly people, and the peace factor.
• Determine to ask God to direct confrontations, to help bring issues out in the open so they can be dealt with in His way. This includes church business. Ask Him to lead when there are problems you need to deal with or difficult conversations coming up. Then wait for Him to do so. Don’t rush ahead. A potentially hard conversation, when He is in it, will be natural and not forced. I have experienced this many times. When God goes before me, it makes all the difference in how the message is received. He leads, we follow.
  
• Determine to respond to inner promptings to help people. The Holy Spirit directs us to help others who are in need. It may be phone call or a visit. Respond promptly.
  
• Determine to rest in Jesus. Lean into Jesus. Learn to be in a state of active waiting. Wait, but wait in anticipation for what God is going to do. Give Him your anxieties.
  
• Determine to let go of what you cannot change. Harboring anger and ill-will is damaging. Blocked gates cannot be opened. We must accept shut doors and difficult people.
  
• Determine to own your own stuff and to stop owning other people’s stuff. This is huge. Recognize that people will disappoint you, hurt you, vilify you and reject you. They will lie about you or subvert you. Own what is yours, the part that is true (ask God “What is true?”). Let go of the rest. Become savvy. Realize when you are being manipulated by someone’s words or actions.
• Determine to build people up. Please stop tearing them down. People are walking wounded. Even the most difficult person may soften up when we encourage them.
  
• Determine to be a light in the darkness. Ask yourself, “Does my presence transmit ‘God’s presence’ when I walk into a room?” It should.
  
• Determine to practice grateful thankfulness. This makes a huge difference in outlook. Accept your life for what it is. Celebrate the little and big things. Don’t be so hard on yourself and on others. Make praise to God a familiar practice. At night, I think of ten good things that happened that day. God is good.
• Determine to initiate and cultivate spiritual interventions and actions. Live the simple life.

DETERMINE TO REMOVE DISCONTENT
Take steps to remove the road-blocks that impede contentment.

• Determine to discard or remove that which derails your ability to be content. The problem is lack of appropriate focus which is a hot-bed, breeding ground for growing feelings of discontent.
  
• Determine to keep your eyes off an over-weaning preoccupation with “self.” Moderate negative self-talk, self-stuff, and self-focus. Focus on Jesus. Invite Him to participate in everything.
  
• Determine to avoid spending over-much time with negative people. Their sour attitudes suck the joy out of us and can make a good day turn bad. If you live with a negative person, learn to erect a thought barrier and don’t be sucked in. Reactions work as a stimuli. If you fail to “bite,” it may lessen.
• Determine to stop saying “if only” sentences. This causes an unhappy mindset toward people and situations.
• Determine to stop saying “what if” sentences. This causes a growing feeling of dissatisfaction with your current situation.
• Determine to re-train your mind to see others as equals and to stop seeing yourself as better or worse than other people. We tend to view ourselves as superior to some people and inferior to other people. God sees us as equal in value. So should we. This helps us avoid the “less than” and “more than” way of thinking and slows down the judging of others. Note: it is quite damaging when one mate sees themselves a superior to their mate. If it is you, please stop.
  
• Determine to not read answers into your prayers. When I am praying, I avoid asking God any questions that have yes or no answers to major decisions. I won’t pray like this: “Shall I make this investment, move to this location etc? A “yes” or “no” question causes the mind to automatically supply the answer according to how you ask the question. I pray open-ended statements. I will pray like this: “Show me what You want me to do” or “Stop me if it is not in Your will and make it clear if it is not of You.” This keeps me from being frustrated or disappointed.
  
• Determine to live within God’s will. A sense of peace comes when we are in the center of God’s will for us. It has a lack of argument and debate.
  
• Determine to recognize the state of confusion. Confusion and misunderstanding between people, when they can’t hear what each other is saying,  is often an indication that something may not be God’s will and is contrary to His design and purpose. It also is evidence of spiritual warfare.
  

The following areas cause discontent in our spiritual life.

• Lack of forgiveness; bitterness, a bitter spirit that resides in us, and resentment, harbored negative feelings, build and overshadow your life whereby killing joy and happiness.
• Lack of genuine repentance; a hard heart, bull-headed actions that serve self but harm others.
• A self-focused attitude; all the self-stuff that serves our best interest but not God’s best interest.
  
• Lusting in any form; a spirit of lust. Lusting for what you don’t have or what you desire for self
• Prideful acts and proud attitudes. Drawing undue attention to yourself.
• Putting your unfair projections on others. Expecting others to meet your needs and to make you happy.
• An “You owe me” attitude. Holding onto grudges. These build over time.
  
• A critical spirit. A negative outlook that colors your viewpoint and outlook.
• Change any unrealistic expectations. Perfectionism and perfectionistic tendencies can or will, if not acknowledged and moderated, breed discontent and unhappiness. It will run your life.
• Withholding of affection. Using emotional manipulation as a punishment, to influence, or to create tension.
• Recognize your bent to self-protect.

 A SPIRITUAL LITMUS TEST:

• How loving, kind, fair, and helpful are you?
• Does God control your business, money, relationships, future, and plans?
• Does your presence transmit God’s presence?
• Do you build up or tear down?
• Are you impatient or demanding, unkind or mean-spirited, insensitive or sarcastic?
• Are you known for your love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? Galatians 5:22:23- The fruit of the spirit.

IN CONCLUSION:

THE PROBLEM: We can’t give what we don’t have inside of us.

THE SOLUTION:  Go and get what you don’t have and then make it work for you–through the empowering of the Holy Spirit.

We show up. We desire it. Then God enables it. In the church and as individuals, we can get lazy, cynical, burned out, overworked and disengaged. The truth is, we must center our lives and plans in Father God, through Jesus Christ, and enabled by the Holy Spirit. We must do what God calls and enables us to do. We are not meant to be “lone rangers.”

MY CHARGE TO THE CHURCH:

We are a community, a family, a people designed to help and need each other–not as self-serving entities or cliques–but as one body that loves each other. We all get “hurt” at times in the church. This is “Christ’s church.” Serve Him first and all will be well. We can be peaceful people even in the center of a storm. Develop a loving reciprocal relationship with God. In this you will find the key to that unlocks the door for you. Change what you can change. Do what you can do. Trust and believe. Then leave the rest with God.

Related Blog: Complaining, a Troubling Condition

Note: This blog has not touched on the areas that cause emotional pain nor their healing. That area is part of the process but is explored in more detail in my posts under the label “A Spiritual Intervention.”

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