It is interesting how God allows pain in our lives almost as an initiation or secret entryway into the deeper life. We are given choices, opportunities to choose which way we will turn. Unbelief in God’s goodness, plus anger and embedded roots of bitterness can take the life out of us. To think differently was a challenge for me.

I noticed the inconsistencies in me. I believed life could be lived victoriously. But how? There came a day when I made a list. This list stated all the things that I wanted God to change in my life. The quagmire was sucking me in. I knew that there had to be a better way. I was serious about changing. God knew I meant it.

God began to change me by taking my through a process. The process unfolded in many steps. He took me on a journey by removing my anger and bitterness, by showing me my hurts and healing them, by speaking to me through His Word and His whispering voice, and by teaching me to trust Him, that He knew what He was doing, and that it was a good plan.

God’s presence was so real a couple of times that I felt utterly full of light and joy. It became beautiful and meaningful. God also removed the pain out of my heart when He healed it. An absence of pain led to a fullness of joy. I can’t really explain it, but it was real.

I have never returned to the way I once was. The healing is complete. The challenges are still fought on a frequent basis, but God’s presence never leaves me. In fact the struggle proves I’m still in the battle. I know that my Savior still saves, still keeps, still loves, and still teaches. The battle belongs to the Lord.

I pray that God will continue to redeem what the locusts have eaten. God can, and I believe He will. I believe God can use my story to heal and bless others. I pray that He will use my story to lead others to their own healing, and most importantly, to a remarkable closeness with Father God.

In my strange story, I have learned and grown via a fascinating, unconventional journey that has taken me to heights of joy after experiencing the depths of sorrow. God is enough. He really is. Heart belief tells the truth about a soul’s actual health and its love for God.

I invite you to trust in Him to meet you on your journey and to see you through to its end. I finish with this. God has a plan and a future for me, for you, and for all of us. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.

The End of The Rest of the Story.

Attending Graduate School

In 1989 I became involved in the public school arena by volunteering in my children’s classrooms and later serving as a substitute teacher. We moved down from the mountains to my hometown so I could attend graduate school. My life became very busy. I was an instructional aide in the mornings, taught a disabled boy in the afternoons, and went to university classes two nights a week for six hours each.

My kids weren’t too happy about my busyness. I didn’t have time to bake bread and cookies anymore and dinners were not what they had been. It was a big push. I never had time to relax. In time, I updated my credential and began teaching part-time. A few years later, I decided to become a reading specialist, a two-year commitment of Monday night classes.

A Career Woman

I worked hard to become marketable. I hoped this would help me land a full-time teaching position and find a home for my professional career. By then, I was in my early forties and starting to feel like I was running out of time to establish a career in education. Then, finally, in 2004 I was hired full-time as a reading specialist for Hamilton Union Elementary School.

This was my favorite professional experience. Teaching involved reading intervention groups and also subsequent leadership opportunities. I directed seven aides, ran an assessment program, co-led a bully prevention program, and co-led a school wide intervention program. Budget cuts eventually necessitated a return to the regular classroom. By this time, I was writing a book, which was published in 2012.

Farming on the Side

As a side job, since 1996, I leased a 23-acre walnut orchard from my parents. The income the orchard generated aided me in funding a portion of my children’s university tuition. In addition, it helped keep the family afloat during the lean years. I farmed the orchard for twenty years.

Also I was very busy in the church in the AWANA ministry and children’s ministry. I was given the task of creating a women’s ministry during this time. I grew as my women grew with me. This time was enjoyable and rewarding.

Sadly, my 21 year marriage ended in 2002, but not without much pain, duress, hurt, and heartache for all of us. I have been a single parent ever since and have never remarried. A child custody battle ensued, which caused additional stress.

The Downward Slope

What follows from here on contains a brief description of my life’s ups and downs.

Over the course of the years many things would present difficulties in my life, which caused me much pain. In some of my writings, you observe me sharing the hard stuff and how God ministered to me through them. It does not seem appropriate to list them right now. Just know that I suffered much pain but never quit believing that God loved me. God always sustained me and sent people my way to befriend me. I am grateful for each one who had a part in my life.

There were a few major earthquakes. These I will mention in brief: I was abandoned two times. I lost a sibling to suicide. My mate didn’t stay true. I experienced the pain of unexpected job loss and hardship caused by job uncertainty. I experienced a breakdown. I went through the distress of an 18-month custody battle. This list in not exhaustive.

Hitting The Wall

Through it all, I would learn to lean hard on God’s ever-sufficient grace. Eventually, there came a time when I was in so much pain that I couldn’t bear up any longer. I hit the wall. And then another wall. And another. My recovery came in increments. Little by little, piece by piece, deep gut-wrenching letting go of all that had wounded me so I could look at it, see what it meant, and give it to God. I had to give it all to God to let Him take over and make me anew. It was the best thing I ever did.

He taught me to trust Him. He taught me that He is enough. I learned I could lean on Him in the direst of circumstances. God showed me His soft side. He kept me in the palm of His hand. He brought me new life out of an old, beaten, overwhelmed life. I found joy. I discovered peace. He raised me up. He made me whole. He showed me that my suffering was not for naught, it was for gain. God became very real to me and met my inner need.

. . .

Go here to hear Norma’s Testimonial and how she recovered.

More next week.

Christian Heritage

My familial upbringing contributed significantly to the making of who I am. Christian faith was an integral part of our family dynamics. I was raised with a Christian worldview. My parents’ perspective viewed everything including our choices with a spiritual purpose in mind and that we should live our lives that way. We didn’t add on Christianity, we lived it.

My father farmed row crops and orchard crops. We children always worked on the farm. We learned to be careful, responsible, and to think for ourselves. Our family lived simply with few frills. I didn’t resent this. It was a way of life. It made me value hard work. I knew I was well-loved.

Both my parents and all my siblings are lovely people. My father is a man with integrity, an honorable man. Not many come as honest as he is. I have Mother to thank for her encouragement of music, spiritual guidance, and academic support. Both parents built character and responsibility into our lives. They also were rather strict in what they allowed and didn’t allow, as was our church.

Protestant in theology, Baptist in church association, strong in Biblical teaching and personal accountability, we children developed our Christian walk through the home, church, and our college choices. I did see a few chinks in the armor, though. Later I would come to see areas of my Christian identity in a somewhat differing and expanded way. God would bring this to pass in His time.

Christian College

My first venture out of the home was to attend a bible college: Western Baptist Bible College in Salem, OR. During my sophomore year, WBBC became a liberal arts college and changed its name to Western Baptist College, and now it’s Corban University. My major was Christian Education. Music, voice, and art were side studies. I traveled in music groups on weekends–concert choir and Triple Trio–whereby representing the school by performing in supporting churches.

At WBC, I loved the dynamics of being with like-minded peers. All WBC college students were required to complete 30 units of Bible and every student had to pass a Christian Theology test to graduate. Christian service was another requirement. I participated in jail ministries, music ministries, and as a puppeteer. I am grateful for the Bible-based coursework, for it contributed to my life by grounding my faith in spiritual truth.

After college, I returned to my hometown of Chico, California. I immediately began teaching at Paradise Christian school. I broke up with my college boyfriend and started to date a local man. He was a brand new believer from a nonspiritual background. He had become a Christian while stationed at Fort Lewis, WA. We first met at my church in Chico, and later became better acquainted after he was discharged from the Army. We married in 1980. My husband lacked the family/religious structures that played so significantly in my life. Our differences would not bode well for us.

Family and Church

In 1982, I stopped teaching when our first child was born. My husband and I would eventually have five children. I was a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t want anyone else to raise my children even though it meant there was limited resources, and usually there wasn’t much money. Homemaking was what I did for nine years, and it was my favorite occupation ever. In 1992 we lived in Westwood, CA. After being encouraged to substitute teach by my third child’s kindergarten teacher, I passed the C-Best and reentered the teaching field as a substitute on a part-time basis.

Over the years, my little family was always active in the local church. I served in every church we attended, mostly as a teacher. One thing my family of origin had prepared me for was working in the church. I held many positions over the years i.e. Sunday School teacher, Christian Education Director, Women’s Ministries Director, Choir Director, Children’s Church teacher, AWANA leader, Christmas Program Writer-Director, and speaker.

* * *

I know this post was a long recital, but I’m not a young chick anymore and there was lots to say (and I left a lot out). It is kind of nice to tell you some of my life story. I hope it wasn’t too boring.

More next week.