When a cashier says to me, ‘Thank you, Miss,’ I smile because at my age you usually hear ‘Thank you, Mam.’ The other day a white haired woman in front of me was asked, ‘Anything else, Miss?’ and I grinned. I told the young man that I liked it when he called her ‘Miss’ because it’s always nice to hear that at our age. He smiled back at me and said he likes to make people’s day. There’s something to be said for that sort of thing. I used ‘What’s wrong?’ with my daughter yesterday. It all spilled out, what was concerning her. Then she was back to normal.

Be Intentional with Your Words

It helps to have these phrases handy when you need them. People need the right words at the right time.

• Thank you. The words ‘Thank you’ can make all the difference. A good rule of thumb is to say ‘thank you’ every time someone does something for you. . . even if it is an expectation. (I started thanking my students and it lifted the tone in the room.)
• You’re welcome.  The words ‘You’re Welcome’ acknowledge you noticed their thank you. They represent a formal courtesy. Sometimes ‘no problem’ doesn’t cut it.
• How can I help?  May I help you? These related phrases are a gracious way to offer assistance without being pushy or inquisitive.
• Let’s talk.  This means, I care and am willing to take the time to listen to you.
• What’s wrong? What’s the matter?  Said in a nice way, these questions can open the door to a much-needed conversation.
• May I pray for you? I’ll pray for you.  People appreciate this offer of support regardless of their beliefs.
• How are you doing?  This question opens the gate for those who are needing someone to talk to.
• I appreciate you.  It’s always nice to hear an affirmation.
• I’m so glad to see you.  This is a day brightener. Say this often as you look them in the eye.
• You mean a lot to me.  Even parents need to hear these words.
• I love you.  The best words ever.
• What do you need?  The nice thing about this one is that it can mean physical, spiritual, emotional (or whatever) support.
• I’m sorry.  Please forgive me.  There’s nothing quite like saying these words to someone you wronged or hearing them when you’ve been wronged.
• I forgive you.  These words are powerful. Give them freely, for they release you from bondage to the event/person.
• I was wrong.  Take ownership for what is your part. This is better than one hundred excuses like ‘it was a mistake.’
• You are/were right.  This is hard to say because pride gets in the way.  Humble yourself.
• Have a great day!  This is a nice way to say ‘I wish you well’ to people you meet.
• You look nice!  I know this may not be PC, but I still like to hear it.
• That was great!  After eating a meal out or that someone else cooked, going to a concert, doing something fun with others, this sentiment is a nice acknowledgement that blesses everyone who hears it. It makes everyone feel good.

What would you add to this list?

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