The beauty of friendship is a bridge that connects us.

My friend meets with me every other week. We sit at New Earth Market and gab. I get a 12 oz. coffee to sip for the three hour block. She nibbles on an entree while we visit. We talk about family first, what’s happening and what’s a bit of a challenge. Our lives are similar in this area. We move on to other subjects.

These visits are heart-to-heart talks.

Then we talk about the meat and potatoes of our lives. Life intersects in ways we do not anticipate. I gain from her caregiving experiences. She went through it and now I’m going through it. She learned to advocate for her mother, then her father. I’m learning and growing, and becoming knowledgeable and supportive and advocating for both of my parents.

I appreciate her candid remarks.

Two weeks ago I mentioned the book Safe People and something I gained from reading it. She bought the book and found herself applying its message to her life. Challenges come into both of our lives, and we benefit from the honesty and charity that has developed between us. Trust and God makes this a rich blessing.

My experiences touch her experiences and visa versa.

This friend came to me for advice three years ago. I silently committed time to developing the friendship in order to help her. I intended to give one afternoon per week for a year’s duration to guide her through addressing emotional issues caused by marital abandonment.

Now she helps me.

My friend is honest with me, and I need that. Our friendship is reciprocal. When one of us is down, the other one listens and encourages. When one of us is celebrating an area of personal growth, the other one is cheering on the sidelines. God is in this, and I’m so grateful.

You never know what is going to happen.

God made us to be relational creatures. We need to touch in significant ways as human beings. The depth of the friendship, however, is determined by certain factors being present within the dynamics.

• Trust
• Honesty
• Acceptance (withhold your judgment)
• Care, kindness and thoughtfulness
• Parity, no one-man-upmanship
• Keep a confidence on delicate matters
• Respect and respectful behavior
• Validation
• Listening well to each other’s heart
• Vulnerability

A true and deep friendship takes work. One that is for a spiritual and life-enriching purpose will have additional layers to it that benefit those who are in it. They are entrusting some of their vulnerabilities in the bonds of friendship.  This requires a sense of safety, which goes back to trust. Some friendships cannot ‘go there.’ Other friendships thrive there.

What makes a heart-to-heart friendship special?

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