Emotional Exhaustion

The phrase jumped out at me. I’d not heard those two words linked. The author of the book I was reading, my mother’s first cousin, had recently experienced a significant loss when she wrote them. Emotional exhaustion was influencing her actions. That sounded too familiar. It sounded like me. I wasn’t expecting it but the expression fit.

Emotional exhaustion is a state of feeling emotionally worn-out and drained as a result of accumulated stress from your personal or work lives, or a combination of both. Emotional exhaustion is one of the signs of burnout. … Lack of energy, poor sleep, and decreased motivation can make it difficult to overcome emotional exhaustion.  Resource: Emotional Exhaustion

Where I’m currently functioning is kind of like maintaining but not at my best. I’ve been sluggish and lacking in energy for a few months now. I’m not sad or depressed, most of the time, anyways. Just in slow-mo gear more than I like. I work to finish a task then I have to sit down and recharge. In early January I took the bull by the horns and attempted to get back on the right side of this funk. It helped. I spent a solid day in the word and prayer. I wrote in my journal. By the end of the day the light was shining in. My spirit enlivened. Thoughts came easier. It continues on the upswing.

We’re all different. In other ways we’re much the same. Grief, loss, change are ways of letting go, remembering, moving on. Our folks’ aging is a journey for their children (and them). The process is multifaceted. One gets drained but doesn’t want to complain. There are so many loose ends to see after. Loss happens. One can’t bypass grief. I’m missing my mom. A friend of mine lost his beloved to cancer Christmas week, 2019. He’s trying to adjust to his new normal. Right now he’s existing, has community, but lots of sad missing-you moments. I feel his pain because it’s so raw.

My emotional exhaustion, if that’s what it is, comes from a build-up of disconnected cares of life. There are several contributing factors but mainly I got behind in 2018 and 2019. Now I’m playing catch-up. It weighs on me. I get overwhelmed. God is with me, though, and I appreciate his presence.

The truth is I really need Jesus every day. He is my rock, my fortress, my ever present help in times of trouble. Like I’ve said before, when we say “Help me, Jesus,” he rarely fixes the problem, but he helps us handle the problem. He’s a joy. He’s peace. He’s love. He’s ‘got this’ according to his will. Times of woe, not weal, speak to a great need to call upon the Lord in the quietness. “Abba” is our “I Am” for today, tomorrow and all the little places in between.

So, drink a cup of green tea. I prefer mint, thank you very much. Do the next thing. Then the next thing. And the next thing. Good things do happen. I’m establishing some new good habits. I’ve noticed that I’m happier when routines are followed. Smile at someone. That is sure to help. My favorite, look for the bright spots. Today I enjoyed listening to my Dad tell me what he was learning about Tesla.

God bless you all.

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