He Beat Me to the Checkout Line

I am heading toward the checkout line when a man dashes in from the side, literally sprinting into position and smugly takes his place in front of me. “You win!” I thought. I didn’t expect it since he was around my age.

I filed in behind him and then waited until it was my turn. He avoided looking at me and soon became very chatty with the cashier. I laughed to myself and thought of what my mind could have said. His action was totally unnecessary–I only had four items in my cart.

This jostling for position took me back a couple weeks ago when I said to friends that bad manners in traffic don’t upset me much. They just don’t. I can’t explain it. Long ago I decided to stop letting things like that bother me. It’s kind of strange how those things don’t upset me unless I let them. It’s such a relief.

What does upset me is when I do something stupid that causes someone else to brake or swerve, which happened to me–after months of isolation–when I returned to driving. My driving skills were rusty. It was embarrassing whenever I made a mistake.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

People are going to disappoint us, even family and friends will get our goat. It helps to let some things go and not make a big deal about them, especially things that don’t matter in the scheme of things. Our sense of fairness notices these things. But are they worth getting upset about? It’s a given, people are going to let us down. They’re even going to take advantage of us, at times. We need to stand our ground on important things–the things that matter, but the other things may or may not really matter.

Years ago I read a pamphlet by Norman Vincent Peale where he said that others will hear you better when you address conflict with dispassion. I like that. It helps to be dispassionate when dealing with emotionally-charged issues. However, that’s not easy for me to do. I kid you not. I’m emotional by nature and my emotions readily show. But when I take charge and get myself under control, it works beautifully.

What I am not saying is to bury your emotions. When we explode way out of context, though, it may mean there is some issue that is unresolved inside us. This makes me think of how we choose to either respond or react to any given situation. I learned this concept from a friend who had climbed out from under it, who was in the process of overcoming and healing from abuse received at her mother’s hand, abuse so severe that she was almost killed. She said, that, like medicine, we either respond–which is curative and brings healing, or we react–which is harmful and causes distress, to an event.

Sometimes when I am reacting to a situation it causes a temporary freezing (shutting down) of my mind. My emotions overwhelm my ability to rationalize clearly. This is something that I recently realized happens to me in the moment. These types of things rob me of my joy, encroaching on my happy-factor. It’s just not worth it to me. Learning to accept what happens is a secret that comes with age once we realize that a lot of the things that used to make us angry aren’t worth it. I guess my mind is less complicated now that it’s healthier.

Nope, I don’t like bad manners. The man rushing ahead of me was displaying his selfish nature. That’s humanity speaking, a natural tendency. But, of course, winning isn’t everything. It’s how we play the game that matters. Are we honest? Are we kind? Do we speak the truth? Are we afraid to speak the truth? Are we wasting energy on things that really don’t matter? That cause us distress? Have we lost our mo-jo?

I don’t have all the answers, but God does. I do know that God loves us. God carries us through the difficulty. He helps us on our journey. He’s invested in making us holy, pure vessels for His use. And I’m good with that. He knows what I need. My wants are less important to Him. God is gracious. I’m glad He is good.

. . .

I wish you well on your spiritual journey.

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