My friendship with “Emily” grew steadily. All our messages were via private messaging on social media. It took both of us being vulnerable and honest with each other, which I am doing here for this writing.

An Unlikely Friendship

September 18, 20**

9/18, 4:18am
Emily:
son & i seem to have picked up yuck at routine dr visit for his hearing. pray we can get some decent sleep. More importantly though…praying for neighbor as we awoke to sirens and police & ambulance next door this morning. Elderly woman whose grandson moved in for a while, but I haven’t seen him for a while. just praying everything is ok over there.

9/18, 9:09am
Me:
Going to prayer now.

9/18, 11:31am
Me:
GM Emily, I’d like to send you a copy of the book I wrote as a gift. It was written during a time of sorrow in my life. I think it might be an encouragement to you. People tell me it is comforting. If you’re comfortable giving out your address.

9/18, 11:50am
Emily:
Is it anything like Jennifer’s book in terms of depth of pain walked through?

9/18, 1:42pm
Emily:
Have u read Jennifer’s book?

9/18, 2:46pm
Me:
I read it halfway through but haven’t printed the second half yet. My book is quite different from hers. It’s not my life’s story. It is more like a person seeking God in an intimate fellowship, in the form of spiritual meditations. I was going through a custody battle at the time and lost my twelve yr. old daughter. She was not protected by her father very well. I also was recovering from a lost love.

9/18, 2:48pm
Me:
I never mention him, but it was my heartache. I was never loved well in my marriage. He was the first one after years of no man caring about me. So the pain went deep. I was grieving.

9/18, 2:48pm
Emily:
What ch have u gotten thru

9/18, 3:26pm
Me:
Are you asking, what else? In my marriage: abandonment twice, adultery, divorce after all the troubles of 21 yrs. personal other: job losses, sibling’s suicide, job stresses, children’s troubles, and dealing with my own issues that need changing and healing. All that came on my own through God. Took several years of seeking God. But, I found answers and I was transformed in the process. That is why I reach out. I know how painful it can be to be buried and silent but still active in the church on the outside. I’m very calm even in a crisis. But sometimes it works against a person.

9/18, 3:37pm
Emily:
Lol…sorry…I was asking what chapter r u on in Jennifer’s book
But thanks for sharing…
I’m calm in the crisis myself.
But feeling very distant from God lately and not walking thru being without a church very gracefully. Feeling like a fish outta water mostly. When everything my son n I do and are is gone we r wandering. It’s a bit of a desert time.

JUST PLAIN SCARED

You never know someone’s story. I think we would be more kind to each other if we did. Extend grace. Be compassionate. Give life.

For almost a year, I thought about sharing these private messages knowing their potential to help others who are afraid to speak up about the past, especially in the church, but I didn’t want to injure her and my relationship or to use what we had shared by making it blog fodder in a flimsy-flam sort of way. When I finally got up the nerve to ask Emily, she responded that my idea was brilliant. She asked for time to pray. Then she thought about it for several months.

You may wonder what Emily thinks about me sharing her personal information and if this is a breach of trust. She has given her approval for sharing our conversations but at some discomfort given the personal nature of the writings. I am grateful for her willingness to do this. She is brave.

This week’s writing mentions “Jennifer’s” book, which is what brought us together in the first place. We both participated in a book launch together as part of a launch team of women overcomers. As you can tell by the text usage, there is a gap between Emily’s and my age. It would a couple of months before I would find out her age and our age span.

These I-messages are transcribed verbatim unless there was a typo caused by hitting the wrong key or a need for a comma. I want to keep them honest and pure. All names are changed. I can’t hide me, though.

The conversation continues.

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LINKS

>next post:  The girl is vulnerable:  Conversations with Emily (4)

<previous post:  Scared and alone:  Conversations with Emily (2)

|<<first post:  A woman at risk:  Conversations with Emily (1)

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I welcome your comments on this post. Thank you.

Thanks to my daughter for being the model for my pic.

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