I am a free person today. It hasn’t always been this way. Life used to be confusing and less fulfilling. Through a soul-changing process over time, God brought me to a place of freedom and joy. It has changed my life and my perspectives. My point of view has altered on what it is to be a Christian whose life is the sweet aroma of Christ to the world and to one’s own small sphere of human contacts.

A SPIRITUAL INTERVENTION

This has everything to do with embracing the Christ of the Cross and His embracing back. After experiencing my spiritual transformation from one based on duty and performance to one based on love and God’s goodness, I was able to look back and see some parallels from my choices and the way God used them for the better in my life with the eventual healing of pockets of hidden pain within me, those areas which once blinded me to the true condition of my inner self.

Painful emotions were something I experienced during my adult life.  Fortunately, my childhood was happy and emotional pain was not part of my experiences. The pain was not from my religious or familial upbringing or anything related to spiritual elements. Like many raised in the faith community, my home life was practically without blemish. It was a good home. I had loving parents who lived the walk, were true and consistent.

I was unaware of some things, though. As a devoted Christian and consistent churchgoer, and as an active participant in the on-going liveliness found in the faith-based community, my sheltered existence and love for things of God contributed to a blind-spot in my understanding regarding a specific area of human struggle within this same community.

Much of my religious instruction was shaped around two fundamental important beliefs. These provided the framework for living our Christian lives. First and most important, salvation of a soul comes through saving faith in Jesus Christ. Second, the Christian walk is to be lived as a holy life, separate from the ways of the world and its worldly attachments. Ours was to be a life lived in obedience to God as outlined in the scriptural mandates set forth in the Holy Word.

This was a conservative approach to Christianity. My beliefs were shaped and formed with close adherence to certain standards of action and behavior. This structure didn’t have much bend or wiggle room. I find no fault with its teaching. I don’t resent it at all. In fact, I appreciate the way I was raised. The church’s beliefs were not where its teachings and practice fell short. They were not the issue.

It was something more complex, more fundamentally disruptive in my inner person. It was less easy to see because of my spiritual upbringing. I was missing some key components in my life. And, I had some misconceptions about living the Christian life.  Being circumspect and obedient, did not help me deal with the trauma that came into my life. It didn’t help me figure out what to do with the pain. But what it did do for me, it kept me close to Father God, and it kept me seeking Him for answers.

I eventually found some answers.

More in the next blog.

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©N. L. Brumbaugh

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