A quote from Silent.Sacred.Space:
Friday night I had a revelation. I was tired and wanting solitude so I did what I often do and went and sat under a walnut tree. After sitting there awhile and enjoying the beauty and listening to the birds and the leaves rustling, I thought, this feels different. Something is different—an emptiness, a blankness—and then I realized what it was. It was a sense of no pain, no sorrowing, no hurt. For all of my married life and last year, I sought solitude to have a place where I could cry out to God (and I did!), and unload the sadness in my heart. I would cry and cry, the pain was always so unbearable—even now tears are in my eyes as I write this and remember the deep, deep well of emotions. Sitting there, free from the pain, was so different. I can’t say that I was feeling peace and joy—it was more of an absence of feeling. It was a point of realization that God truly has healed me in many respects. I am so thankful.
Private Journal 3 – Norma L. Brumbaugh
That is blip from the inset page before the title page of my soon-to-be-released book, Silent.Sacred.Space. Above is a journal quote I wrote back in 2003. I use it for sake of illustration. It was written a little over a year after my world spun out of control and crashed. I began seeking God in earnest. I spent hours of time soul-searching and God-seeking. Meditating and contemplating for lengths of time became part of my weekly routine. I attribute this practice of in-depth conversation with God, Silent.Sacred.Space, to the healing of my sorrow and transformation of my spiritual life. Through a process of intentional seeking, God changed me and healed me. It was remarkable.
Last night I finished my manuscript draft for Silent.Sacred.Space. This book has 10,000 words. It is small in comparison to my other book (70,000 words). Next, I will have a few people read it for feedback to help me fix what is wacky or unclear. I’ll clean it up some, then I am going to find an editor (I have a local editor in mind. We’ve spoken one time, and she seems interested). While it is being edited, I will design a cover or have someone else design one (maybe on fiverr). After the edits are finished, I will independently publish it in e-book form and paperback form, probably on Create Space, Amazon’s publishing business.
If you are interested in writing an endorsement, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Subject line: Endorsement SSS
The release date is March 15, 2017.
The photo is of me from around the same period of time that I wrote the journal quotes I include in this post. Prior to writing the top one, I processed a painful memory that resurfaced in my mind while I was praying. I had asked God to heal me and my memories. The memory was from the first time I was told by my then husband that I wasn’t loved and he was leaving me, which translated in my head, I wasn’t wanted and I didn’t matter. My first-born son was almost one year old and it was Memorial Day.
The memory of that day was very painful. I remembered the words and they stabbed my heart, once again. The walnut trees, surrounding me as I worked this through, were like prayerful friends. I sobbed in wrenching tears. Then I stopped walking, stood there and looked up at the sky. I told God that I wanted Him to heal that memory, that He could take that memory, that I was giving it to Him, that I didn’t want to carry its burden any longer.
I began praying and talking to God. I asked God what I had believed that day when I was told I wasn’t loved. The understanding came, I had believed lie that said, you’re not worth fighting for, and you aren’t wanted.
The tears subsided and God comforted me. Love was there with me. Then His words came to me in the form of a thought, “By My stripes you are healed.” I began praying for my ex., and the moment passed.
A couple weeks later while having my sacred time with God, I realized that something had changed in me. I was at peace. The familiar sadness, simply, was no more. The top journal entry records my written words from that day.
I share these two quotes, front and back, in S.S.S to demonstrate that God ministers to people in a personal way. My experiences with meditative prayer and God-inspired moments of contemplation is something I wish to share with others. I set the concept forth like a guide to lead the reader to the point where they will consider participating in their own silent, sacred, time alone with God, set aside for the seeking God to know Him. That is when spiritual life becomes refreshingly sweet.
It is so quiet and peaceful today. Everyone is asleep and the breeze is rustling the tree leaves. I hear a rooster crowing. The kitten is meowing on the porch and the fuzzy white cotton is floating in the air from the cottonwood trees. I am feeling revived. I’ve been feeling sick and over-tired from pushing it so hard. The kids are going to camp today. I wish I could go! It would be so nice to go to the mountains, visit with nice people, and just get away from here. I’ve been holed up for a month now.
In my spirit it seems that there is an awakening going on. I feel like I’m coming back alive. I want to “do”—but I don’t know what to do or how to do it. This summer I anticipate a good one. Last summer was extremely pain-filled with deep introspection, but needful.
We need to make it our priority and purpose to let God lead regardless of the circumstances, whether positive or negative, which makes me think: I believe we tend to make an assumption that if something is good and benefits us, it must be right for us and of God. “Oh Father, I want to let you lead in my personal life and in my professional life. Please help and direct me in these things. Thank you that sorrow did its perfect work.”
Not my will but Yours be done. In the past I have tried to remedy things my way, not yours, although it was a mix. Rarely did I go it all alone. I had too much respect for You.
Journal 3 – Norma L. Brumbaugh
-The next post about my book will include a survey to help choose the subtitle.