Life is interesting. We start at different places, are born into a family, some more dysfunctional than others, some religious and some not. Mine was devout, very much so. My childhood was defined by three major areas: family, farming, and church. It was a good life. My parents taught us how to live with honor and grace and how to work hard and be respectful. I am deeply grateful for my parents, grandparents, siblings, and children.
My life became a little more diverse once I left home. I went to a Christian college, and that was good. I did my share of dating, and that was great. I learned about theology and Bible doctrines, and that was excellent. I participated in music performance and was a puppeteer, and that was the frosting on the cake. I liked my life but I was sort of timid, and that was uncomfortable. Teaching in a private school came next. It was okay, but it didn’t really rock my boat. . . .[more]
[To read the rest of my “revised, About Me, page” please click on the link.]
Here we go. Another round of talks with “Emily.” This one is light compared to most of them. I hope you’re finding this interesting.
Just Plain Scared: Conversations with Emily (14)
This time you will find out my age and Emily’s age at the time. It’s crazy, crazy the things we talk about!
We’ve been going through a few struggles the last few months. Actually, it was almost a year ago when I got the first call that someone was messing with some of my vehicles over at the farm. Their batteries had been swiped and my farm truck had a wheel off, several jacks were in position under the vehicles. Somehow they’d not finished the job and even left a calling card behind, a bong and a pair of pink-framed prescription glasses. I removed the jacks, tire iron, and various supplies. I got the vehicles out of there. But it made me uneasy.
Not long after, thieves were back at it. It started with farm equipment being stolen. Then other farm stuffs were also stolen; irrigation pipe (which we use), antique tractors, tanks and various items. It was scary. The family was in shock. I felt a wave of strange emotion, a sense of violation and vunerability, many of these items had historical value and were part of my family’s generational farming history.
Next came moments of life-changing circumstances in ways that many families face: hip fracture, stroke, rehab, occupational therapy, speech/memory therapy, physical therapy, changes in diet, facilitating medical necessities, consulting with family members, discussing options, helping and helping and helping. . . talking and talking and talking. More time away from home than at home, at least it often seemed that way. And if that wasn’t enough, there was some trouble with communicating with my teenager and feeling too stressed to give this adequate attention.
You just never know what’s down the road and around the bend. I had a major break-through this morning for my writing; to be specific, for this blog.
Ever since I first started blogging I’ve struggled with trying to figure it out, just what I am trying to say on my blog that is actually helpful to people, not just within a narrow parameter but for all kinds of people who are in search of love, truth, and spiritual insights. I’ve never been able to define it until this morning and have spent literally hours over years thinking about it. That is why this blog has lacked a permanent face to it.
The truth is, I love to think deeply about life and spiritual things. I have seen myself as some sort of soft-spoken Christ-following messenger, someone passionate about what I’ve learned and am continuing to learn. I’ve also become dis-enamored with religious labels because they keep people trapped in boxes (by keeping some people in, and some people out–they won’t read anything they don’t agree with, and miss out on a lot of good stuff because of it) and keep them from forming a concrete reason to explore the greater spiritual realm that is just waiting to be discovered by the spiritually curious.