Here we go. Another round of talks with “Emily.” This one is light compared to most of them. I hope you’re finding this interesting. This time you will find out my age and Emily’s age at the time. It’s crazy, crazy the things we talk about!
Just Plain Scared: Conversations with Emily
The conversation continues.
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October 27, 20**
10/27, 7:41pm
Me: Read your posts about Isaac. Wow. Good for him. (Isaac went on a walk by himself using a cane, but without his mom)
10/27, 7:41pm
Emily: a bit nerve racking for me, but everyone stopping by the house to check that everything was ok gave me peace of mind, and he checked in with me a couple times on his phone
really didn’t think it required police involvement, but oh well…makes for a good story, the officer made me laugh when he told me my son wouldn’t give him his phone number because he didn’t want him to arrest his mother
10/27, 8:46pm
Me: How funny. Glad you have people looking out for him. I know it is as challenging for the mother as the son!
10/27, 8:49pm
Emily: I was more nervous as he went out but all the updates I was getting as people were stopping by calmed me…til the police showed up
10/27, 8:53pm
Me: Were you tempted to follow him?
10/27, 8:54pm
Emily: I watched him the way up the street and it turns a slight curve 2 1/2 blocks up where he goes out of sight so I was watching him most of the way.
10/27, 8:55pm
Me: Good.
I’m reading “Sun Stand Still.” Makes me think about my life’s purpose. Have you heard of it?
10/27, 8:57pm
Emily: No. but that’s not surprising…not too much of a reader
10/27, 9:05pm
Me: Ok. I’ve been asking God questions. Just want assurance that I’m heading the right direction. I think I am but doubt creeps in. Tell me some about your social life. Do you date or are you in a relationship? Are you interested? What do you look for in a man? ???? Anything interesting going on?
10/27, 9:09pm
Emily: lol…no social life. I’d love to date but don’t hang out where I’d cross paths with anyone. I’m involved in women’s ministry…kinda slim on guys there and run my own business selling Mary Kay which is primarily women again. The church we left 5 months didn’t have any single guys younger than my father and I haven’t crossed paths with any at the churches we’ve visited since then.
10/27, 9:10pm
Emily: I’m looking for a spiritual leader of r household
All the guys I work with at my day job r married
10/27, 9:14pm
Me: Yes, that’s so impt. Did you ever do the Eharmony or Christian mingle thing? I did a little. I learned you have to be careful. Not interested in it now. But I’m not young. I did always want a father for my daughter, or someone she could look up to. Her dad has let her down.
10/27, 9:15pm
Emily: I have my spiritual eyes open to who God has picked for me. I’ve tried eharmony before but so the matches were overseas or across the country
I def wish my son had a male role model…especially on days like Wed. when he comes home wanting me to go over again where babies come from.
But my prayers have always been that he look to Christ to fill that emptiness left by a father who is not a part of his life and even fill in my short comings in parenting him as I’m not perfect
10/27, 9:18pm
Me: Yes. It is the right thing to pray for.
10/27, 9:19
Emily: He questions bout his dad on occasion but has said he doesn’t want to get to know him and I’m good enough for him.
10/27, 9:19pm
Me: Do you get child support?
10/27, 9:20pm
Emily: A few pennies each month. Nothing I figure in our monthly budget to cover anything.
10/27, 9:22pm
Me: Does your son act like a teenager?
10/27, 9:23pm
Emily: He’s mostly an ol’ soul. Always more mature for his age but then every so often he pulls something out where I’m reminded either he’s only a teenager or that he is just a teenager.
It’s been like that since he was born really.
10/27, 9:28pm
Me: My youngest is that way. She grew up in an adult world and became much more that way than her siblings except for the video games. She does get kinda crabby and is more spoiled than her siblings. But is really a good kid all things considered. Likes all the guy things, wants me to let her do boxing. I haven’t caved on that one.
10/27, 9:28pm
Emily: I boxed in college. loved it!
10/27, 9:29pm
Me: Don’t tell me that! I know she’d do great at it.
10/27, 9:30pm
Emily: Lol…well I also joined gangs in college so u can’t go on my choices
10/27, 9:39pm
Me: Find that a surprising thing, esp for a pastor’s kid. I don’t associate college with gangs. There was a gang presence at the school where I taught. I once caught some kids targeting one of my 7th grade students, got 3 kids expelled over it. I worried about retaliation. But it never happened. Thank the Lord. Think I’m about to stop. Want to return to my journal writing. Blessings …
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October 28, 20**
10/28, 6:29am
Emily: sorry i fell asleep on ya…
10/28, 6:35am
Me: Good morning, hope the day treats you well.
10/28, 6:36am
Emily: thx, u too
10/28, 6:39am
Emily: can i ask how old u think i am? u mentioned the other day in ur blog bout age diff and I’m just curious
10/28, 7:14am
Me: I’m 58. I think you’re in your 30s
10/28, 7:24am
Emily: Ya…and I wouldn’t have u put u in ur upper 50s. Ur looking good!
10/28, 7:29am
Me: Thx.
10/28, 8:22am
Me: How old are you? I was telling my daughter our conversation about each others age and she wants to know. Btw, she was impressed that you used to box. Said “I want to meet her!”
10/28, 8:23am
Emily: Lol…38
10/28, 8:26am
Me: Yep. Thx. She’ll be happy now. I was 42 when she was born.
10/28, 8:27am
Emily: Wow…how was that?
10/28, 8:37am
Me: Well. It feels like being a grandparent, and she’s missed out on the fun stuff of interacting with her siblings. She’s 16, the others are 23, 27, 29, & 31. All with the same father. I get wishful to not have the responsibility of child rearing but then I remember when I lost her in a child custody battle for 18 months, and I change my thinking. I pretty much raised the kids by myself, he was never too involved. We’ve been divorced 11 years. I feel bad for her having an old parent.
10/28, 8:38am
Emily: I doubt she feels bad bout it. I’m surprised that parents of students in my sons class being so much older than me. You’re not the only one.
10/28, 9:02am
Me: Sometimes she does wish I was younger. One thing she likes tho, men still notice me. She likes to tell me which ones take a second look when we go grocery shopping. I tell her it’s b/c of God in me. She’s always looking for a man for me. It’s kind of funny. I’m not looking, so she does!
10/28, 9:04am
Emily: Ya…son was snuggling in next to me this summer before I left for 2 wks and I thought I’d be sly and ask if he had a girlfriend or any interest in anyone. He turned it around to whether or not I had anyone I was interested in… KIDS!
10/28, 9:06am
Me: That’s funny. They just want us to be happy.
10/28, 9:06am
Emily: It ended up turning into a good conversation bout how serious the commitment of marriage is
10/28, 9:06am
Me: Good
10/28, 9:07am
Emily: He has a better idea of what dating is all bout now too
I wonder what Emily was thinking about our friendship. I kept wondering myself.
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LINKS
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<previous post: Healing from the effects of past abuse takes a God-sized intervention: Conversations with Emily (13)
|<<first post: A woman at risk: Conversations with Emily (1)
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I welcome your comments on this post. Thank you.
Life is interesting. We start at different places, are born into a family, some more dysfunctional than others, some religious and some not. Mine was devout, very much so. My childhood was defined by three major areas: family, farming, and church. It was a good life. My parents taught us how to live with honor and grace and how to work hard and be respectful. I am deeply grateful for my parents, grandparents, siblings, and children.