A Call to Modesty (& Chastity) and the Valuing of Women

I have to be honest here, I’m upset by what’s going on. There are too many strange sexual behaviors being displayed in magazines and on other forms of social media.

At times I feel literally sickened by what’s being put out there.

People touching people where they shouldn’t be touching them. Three nude women embracing while holding a product for sale. It creeps me out how mainstream this is going.

Those who keep the sexual anatomy private, hid from public display by wearing attractive but modest apparel, are seen as Victorian and prudish. The woman’s body is being displayed in all sorts of ways. Suggestive stances and manners are a promotion of sex; an invitation we can’t avoid noticing.

Modesty is considered archaic.

I am surprised at the movement in some sectors where professional appearance includes bosom-displaying open necklines in mainstream news, shows, and businesses.

Where are we supposed to look?

The invitation is there for all to take note. It is both insulting and distracting. The lines have become blurred. Virtue and chastity seem to be a thing of the past. How society now measures women, especially young women, has become insulting and degrading. The outward appearance has become a marketing tool to sell practically anything and everything. Our young women have become victims in this cultural shift.

It is upsetting for those who want a different standard for their daughters.

One mother said to me, I can’t find any clothes for my little girl that aren’t provocative. Have you noticed the change in underwear logos, where they’re placed, and what they say? Our little girls get the message that it’s all about sex, that they are sexual objects.

That’s not good enough.

A photographer writes a blog about photographing senior portraits, how the girls want poses that are more like sexual invitations. She’s concerned with where this is heading.

I’m concerned too.

Is looking sexy really the measure of a person? Women should expect more, and be more. The pressure to look sexy is marketed to the youngest of young. Teachings about sexual restraint and morality are no longer subliminally emphasized in the public arena.

What is the message being projected?

Is the message this, that sleeping with someone is just an impersonal and expected recreational activity? If you got it, flaunt it. If you want it, go and get it? Do we really want our little girls to believe they are only a booty call, that they can’t keep a relationship if they don’t give the other person everything, and on the first date?

No. Absolutely not.

Meaningful relationships are not created from a romp in bed. We all know this. Why are we accepting this trash? Our girls have worth and value. Their sexuality should be protected, not exploited.

I want my daughters to be loved for who they are, not for how they look or for what they show off, even though they are very attractive young women.

The beauty of a woman isn’t revealed if she displays it all. The less a woman/young woman shows off by way of their dress will give a message to those around them that tells how they see themselves. They will seem more attractive when they learn to accent their physical beauty and not degrade it with slut-like, body revealing clothing.

It shows some self-respect too.

A woman doesn’t need to dress unattractively, that is not what this is about or what I am trying to accentuate. This is a call to bring back a social standard that says we appreciate and value moral behaviors, self restraint, and an appreciation for dress that is decent and not suggestive. And I wish for there to be a change of heart across the board which says, healthy relationships are built, not hap-hazard or cheap. Sex is good, but it must have boundaries, or it seduces and then fails to deliver on its promises.

Our little girls and women deserve to be loved well. If we get this right and change the trajectory, they will benefit in the long run.

What do you think?

Hope Rising: Stories from the Ranch of Rescued Dreams (Multnomah Books, 2003)

If you love animal-kind, you will love this book. Hope Rising is the first book Kim Meeder authored about the ranch she and her husband operate which gives a home to rescued horses. These equine wounded warriors are gently restored to health with the help of a community of volunteers. Part of the healing process comes in the form of human contact. The ranch’s horses are matched with unique visitors, children who also have hurt in their history. Kim Meeder is passionate about her mission. You see, she was wounded too in a terrible family tragedy. Her first horse helped rescue her from the pain that tore at her soul. This is a book of hope, faith, healing, and new beginnings. Hope Rising  is a book of almost magical proportions. I have read every one of Kim Meeder’s books, but this is my favorite (they’re all good). Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch is located in Central Oregon. It “is a nonprofit organization that rescues abused and neglected horses and pairs them with disadvantaged children, offering the children a place of safety, peace and hope.” Expect to be touched by this book. Hope Rising: Stories from the Ranch of Rescued Dreams is a great gift for the animal lover. Quote: Hope Rising.